I have to be honest, guys, I feel like being around a little bit again and being able to post and check my email more frequently is like, a REVELATION or something. And I think - I think my not being around for so long had a lot to do with me and not just my baby/work/home schedule, but ME me, like, the me in my head.

( cut for babble )

So yeah. That's my whole new INTERNET PHILOSOPHY. SMASHING. I feel like I've just given birth to a HOBBY or something.

Also, in this whole new LEAF I'm thinking of turning over, I plan to, uhm, send emails to a few of the people I was a DOUCHE to way back when, because I'm all about karma lately and feel like dog poop about a few things. SO YES. BEWARE of me mucking up your inbox SOON. (Though, funnily enough, I'm pretty sure none of the people I'm thinking of would be READING this, but whatever. SPREAD THE WORD.)



In fannish news! I need things. Like INFO type things. Like, so, ok, Jensen is moving out of Jared house, yes? And Jared and whatsherface are still together, correct? Uhm. I think thats it. I would like ALL THE J2 gossip you have for me, please. I might have written a page of non-au J2 bodyswap fic last night but the "plot," such as it is, needs some info before I can write more.

FINALLY. Does anyone other than me watch Daisy of Love? Because if so, LET ME KNOW. I would like to speak with someone about the crazy hotness that is FLEX sometime soon.

There have to be some J2 bodyswaps around out there, right? Can someone point me to them?

Ok. I'm trying DESPERATELY not to click around enough to see what happened on Harpers Island last night (because yes, I totally did watch it) but I have no will power. Someone rec me some good J2 bigbang stuff? Please?

Thanks!

HELLO INTERNETS! I AM NOT DEAD!

*beams*

Uhm, hi everybody! I swear, no one will believe it, but I went to my lj today (which I do sometimes check, even though I don't post realy at all anymore) thinking I hadnt posted in, like, two months or so, and looked and it's been like, SIX MONTHS since I made an lj post which is just. WOW. SIX MONTHS. I swear I didnt think it was that long.

But yeah. Hello! We just got back from a big family vacation to New Orleans, which was good but WAY different with a nearly two year old along for the ride. I'm still working over sixty hours a week or so at the restaurant, but my schedule changed and now it's more of the later night closing shifts and not as many days, which means that I've found time to write 2000 words of, god, a Jensen/Sandy fic I'd started like, YEARS ago. But I havent finished it or thought about posting it because hi. I dont even know if people like, READ Jensen het at all. Or, you know, whats happening with Jensen (or Jared or ANYONE for that matter.)

Because, you see, I maybe still havent watched all of last season of SPN. *loses* I also havent seen all of Leverage (which I'm hoping to catch up on before the new season starts) but did manage to watch all of Castle (I love you Nathan Fillion), American Idol (meh. I was rooting for Adam), every show on Bravo (I'm not even kidding. Top Chef, Top Design, Make Me a Supermodel, The Millionaire Matchmaker, and all of the housewives), Harpers Island (Fandom mashup! You've got Christopher Gorham! Jim Beaver! Katie Cassidy! The BURGI!!), and, uhm. Well.

*koff*

Daisy of Love.

omg. SHUT UP AND DONT JUDGE ME.

As for everything else, things are good! Ava is good and awesome and funny as hell and talking like crazy. Mr. E is still Mr. E. Things are good! I just MISS everybody and everything online. I hope everyone is doing well, and if you get a chance to pop in and say hello that'd be awesome. Hopefully I'll be around more soon!

♥

So. Because I'm over the age of 13 and a living, breathing female, I'm of course, reading the Twilight books and I have a request.

( some babble and a request for fic recs if at all possible )

Wow! Uhm. HI EVERYBODY!!! How's everyone doing? How are everyone's holidays going?? I honestly dont think I've been online in like, three MONTHS or something ridiculous.

Anyway! Things here are pretty awesome, to be honest, though very, EXTREMELY busy and crazy. The Mr is doing good and my sister is still living with us which is a big help and Ava is AMAZING and gorgeous and so much fun now that she's older and everything is great.

My job is something which I love doing for the first time in forever, but with it being the holiday season, and me being one of the managers of a super busy restaurant, I'm working like, I dont even know. Upwards of 60 hours a week. Which is fine because I'm never in earlier than noon and just work till late at night, so I get to see Ava for a bit every day, and some days longer than others, but god, I'm really freaking TIRED a lot of the time, lol.

( some Ava blabber... )

( here! some pictoral evidence of her ridiculous cuteness! )



In semi-fannish news, uhm, I have the first three episodes of Leverage in my tivo! Is it any good? And I'm all caught up on Top Chef! And HOLY CHRIST ( SUPERNATURAL THIS SEASON... )


Uhm, anyway, there's MY update! How about you all? What's everyone been up to? Any new NEWS?? And FIC I should be reading? COME TALK TO ME OR I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO WRAP PRESENTS WHICH I DONT FEEL LIKE DOING.

*beams*

uhm, apparently I just joined facebook but I have NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING. is there a facebook for dummies or something I can use? (I seriously think I just friended everyone in my email and, uhm, now I'm getting messages? and people writing on my wall? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHERE IS THE MAGIC COMING FROM???)

so, yeah. any help like, on how to navigate and look people up and kind of anything would be AWESOME. thanks!

Episodes, uhm, 4xthe last three up through Yellow Fever.

( cutting for drunkness. )


uhm. that might be it for now. I'm farr too tipsty to type, but YAY! CAUGHT UP OMG FINALLY!!! HI I LOVE MY SHOW YAY.

Also, uhm, DEAR FANDOM, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE WINGFIC???
thanks!

♥

SO. REMEMBER LAST NIGHT? WHEN I FINALLY DECIDED TO CATCH UP ON SPN?? WELL, MANY HOURS LATER, THIS IS THE FACE I HAD:

:)

:)

:)

:D

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD


( random blabber about the last two episodes of s3 and 4x01, 4x02 and 4x03 )


uhm, koff. So, you know. My reactions so far *g* I will be back again after I watch the rest!

YAY SHOW ♥

Tonight is my night off. I have on comfy clothes, a good bottle of wine, and MANY episodes of SPN on my tivo. Which I sat down a little while ago to watch, and I have but one question, people...

( ... )

*koff*

So, uhm. Yeah. There's THAT.

*g*

SO! Uhm, hi everyone! I'm, uhm, kind of around? My new job has me working way over 50+ hours a week and I'm just, you know, busy and working and tired and sleeping and drinking wine in my spare time and not really doing anything fannish at all ever.

WOE.

Ok, seriously? I can barely admit this out loud but I have not even STARTED WATCHING SEASON FOUR OF SPN. I know! I know! It is SAD and UNCALLED FOR. And hopefully tonight I can catch up!

But, in the meantime, I know for a FACT that SOMEONE out there has written one (or hopefully more than one!) "Jared and Jensen are living together in real life and all of a sudden they realized they're in love with each other/fucking/pining for each other which leads to schmoopy/kissy/fucking on the couch/bed/kitchen table kind of domestic awesome FIC" which you can link me to RIGHT NOW for me to read.

(Or, you know, ANY awesome j2 recs you want to give me that were written somewhat recently. I've read nothing, really! I need recs! I need the j2 love! Help me out, people!)

Apparently I've not fallen SO far off the map, that in the middle of working last night - of which I am a MANAGER now! Restaurant manager! Of a REAL restaurant! In less than six months! Whoo! - I get a text message on my phone from the lovely thisisbone informing me that yes, indeed, the J's are living together. Which just, seriously, FILLED MY WEE BLACK HEART WITH GLEE.


YAY! Thank you, Miss Bone!!!

\o/

Also filling my wee black heart are the many birthday wishes I got a few weeks back - Pet! Anna! Cam! - and my card from my dear Tracey, informing me that she will, in fact, watch SPN with me soon because Sam's face is a WONDER AND A JOY TO ALL LIVING THINGS. EVEN TRACEY.

Yay! Thank you all!

\o/\o/\o/

Uhm, anyway! I was going to post tonight! And update! But I can has a PROMOTION at work and have been starting my FIFTY HOUR WORK WEEKS recently and have been, uhm, busy. And have spent tonight - my one night off - uhm. Kind of poilishing off an entire bottle of wine.

WHOOPS.

/o\

But, you know, I love you all! And SPN! And Jared and Jensen! And their Cohabitation of Awesomeness! And, you know, the SPN premiere next week! And porn! And, you know, WINE!

♥

HI EVERYONE. I'm sitting here on my couch, sweating my ass off because the noise from my air conditioner was giving me a headache so I turned it off, and have THINGS to say.

Things like ( Dear SYTYCD finale, )


I have tonight's PR on Tivo, but seriously, the summary alone made me make this face:

o.O


WEIRD, people. I have no idea.


Lastly, I'm trying to find a fic. I initially thought it was a J2 fic, but the more I think about it maybe it's Sam/Dean. And, uhm, one of them maybe has amnesia and thinks he's someone else? Maybe Sam? And Dean comes to visit him because he's staying at like, a church or something? And brings him books? Or something? Is this ringing a bell to anyone or have I just imagined it? eta - YAY!! you guys ROCK - thank you!!

(Ok, maybe that's not lastly. Maybe lastly is OH MY GOD, FANDOM, WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING NOW??? Seriously, every time I come back online and try to "catch up" I feel like I'm DRUNK or something. WOW. It's actually kind of impressive!)


Anyway, I think that's it for now. Tomorrow I have to be at my job at 12:30 pm and won't get home until about 1:30-2am. MADE OF AWESOME. In conclusion, I leave you with this:


( ok! ok! I know I said NO babies in the post, but one little picture can't hurt, cant it??? )

HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD I AM POSTING A FIC.

*freaks out a little tiny bit*

Uhm, so HI. Yeah. J2, post Jared/Sandy breakup fic, which I'm sure has been done a thousand times since the actual breakup, but, uhm, here's one more, I guess!

Ok, seriously, I always think talking about 'muses' and 'voices' is slightly lame, and I never really credit anything I do to any kind of outer writing 'force' or anything, but I swear to god, after over a YEAR since writing something fictional, I was sitting in my car yesterday while my kid took a nap, and I swear to GOD, in my head I heard Jared's voice say the first line to this fic, RIGHT IN MY EAR.

It was weird. And bizarre. And, I dont know. I HAVE NO IDEA, OK?? BUT I SAT DOWN LAST NIGHT AND WROTE IT. And it probably sucks and it's probably schmoopy, but BABY STEPS, guys. Maybe I can get back into this "writing" thing yet.

HUGE thanks to annalazarus for the awesome beta. You're fabulous, darlin! Also, no porn in this one yet. BABY STEPS, right? Maybe someone will get laid in the next one.

WHEEE.


Title - all good things
Pairing - Jared/Jensen
Rating - R
Spoilers - none
Word Count - ~2500



( all good things )

World, for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, I have still NOT SEEN THE LAST TWO EPISODES OF SPN. I just. I can't even.

But, ok. My problem is this. (Other than the fact that I'm apparently made of L-A-M-E.) My Tivo, as I mentioned one other time, decided not to tape the episode, uhm, three back, I think. Long Distance Call or Caller, whatever it's called. And because I'm L-A-M-E, I haven't like, gotten it or downloaded it or whatever. So until I know what happened in that one I've been not watching the last two and just, you know, IT IS THE MIDDLE OF JULY, HELLO. I kind of miss Sam and Dean and want to catch up.

So, uhm, anyway, can someone come in the comments and give me an awesome, really detailed recap of LDC so I can watch the friggin finale tonight or tomorrow? I'd look it up on TWOP or something but I'm afriad I'll want to poke someone'e eye out.

Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. (Also, uhm, HI. HOW IS EVERYONE DOING. HOW IS LIFE ON THE INTERNET. I WOULDN'T KNOW. SIGH.)

♥

Oh my god, I totally fail at working and being a mommy and internetting all at once. SIGH. Anyway, HI EVERYONE. Uhm, here's an update of sorts.


( wow. this got long. )

Guys, apparently I shouldnt be allowed in ANY KIND OF KITCHEN AREA EVER, EVEN FOR WORK PURPOSES, because at work the other night I literally nearly sliced off the tops of two of my fingers cutting lemons. So I had to leave and stuff and go get STICHES and just, HI. THIS IS MY LIFE. Working until 2am four nights a week, taking care of a ten month old, and now doing it all ONE HANDED.

uhm, anyway, HELLO. NOT DEAD, REALLY, but, uhm, also, apparently my Tivo fucked up a few weeks back and only taped ONE MINUTE of Long Distance Call, so I'm now BEHIND and HAVE NOT WATCHED THE SPN FINALE and just, I dont even recognize myself anymore! But, uhm, if someone could maybe point me to a way to get Long Distance Call so I can catch up and then see the damn FINALE, that'd be AWESOME.

I just. I dont even KNOW anymore. How are YOU all doing???

Guys, I GOT THAT JOB I WANTED.

*dances around*

I was looking for a waitressing job and had been striking out at all the places I was looking at because no one was hiring. BUT THEN, I decided on a whim to go to this AWESOME, expensive-ish, trendy, you need to wait FOUR WEEKS for a reservation on the weekend, uhm, FONDUE restaurant that opened by me a few months ago, and they called me back THE VERY DAY I dropped off my resume, then hired me on the spot during the interview last Monday.

YAY.

The only bad thing is that training for it is like, crazycakes, with me at orientation and then training all last week, and all this coming week, before I have to take a TEST on Friday before being allowed to be on the schedule.

But! But then I'll be working by NEXT WEEKEND YAY, which is fun and awesome and gets me out of the HOUSE and puts MONIES in my pocket, and all around it's just a very good thing. Plus, in all my "spare time" I've been making a SHITLOAD of jewelry, and will be starting an etsy site SOON, and we're also doing a street fair at the end of May, and just, things are looking up! Plus, me getting out of the house and leaving the baby with the Mr. and my sister and mom, etc, is making me a LOT less crazy in the face, so everything is like - BETTER than good. BEYOND good.

\o/

The only *bad* thing is that for at least the next week or so I'm going to be even more mia than usual. Between training, starting work, and trying to get my jewelry stock up and online, then ready for the fair, I'm just very flaily. Add to that, you know, taking care of a nine month old, and you can see where all my "spare time" goes.

Basicaly, the only show I'm caught up on is SPN. I'm two weeks behind on Top Chef AND Rock of Love, about five weeks behind on OTH, and havent watched SV since like, September. I've been trying to keep up to date with newsleter stuff with Mari, and will be posting a BIGBANG YAY update this week, while also making plans for Wincon, but man, other than that life is crazy! But good!

Uhm, I think that's kind of it, man. It's SPRING, you know? Time for flip flops and cleaning house, and with that goes me trying to banish all the winter crazies away. I'll be around in email, and online on and off for the next week or so, so tag me if you need anything!

YAY STUFF!


In conclusion: ( ... )



♥

Apparently, a lot of my fannish names and such are STOLEN from other fangirls. WHOOPS.

But yes! Fun meme, because I don't feel like dragging out all my beading stuff tonight:

1. My username is _________ because _________:

estrella30. I picked the estrella part from a character in one of rhyo's fics that she was writing at the time I got my lj (when we were both still writing massively huge Stephanie Plum hetfics on Yahoo mailing lists, oh god) because she used to call me that and she was the person who actually gave me the code so I could get an lj. (HA HA, remember when you needed a CODE for lj??) I wanted just estrella but some jackass had it (probably still does) so I added the 30 which was my age at the time. (Oh god, I AM OLD.)

In other news, if I knew then that I'd be like, you know, MEETING PEOPLE from my lj, I might have picked something different. Maybe a little more normal. Though, seeing as how I got an lj to read and write Sentinel fic, I guess I'm just lucky my name isn't like, jimbabeforever, or something REALLY TRULY HORRIBLE.

Incidentally, the only person I know on lj that I've known longer than rhyo is girlmostlikely who I've known, uhm, god, for a VERY LONG TIME INDEED.

*hearts Ginger*


2. My name is _______ because _______.

Nancy! I was supposed to be Amy, but at the last minute my mom decided to name me after my grandmother, which I'm thrilled about ♥


3. My journal is titled _______ because _______.

"real men make out with each other."

BECAUSE THEY DO. But in addition to that, it's something, god, I hope I remember this right, it's a line from one of missbegonia's fics. I can't remember which one, but I could swear maybe it's Jared and Jensen talking about Tom Welling? And saying it about him? Or he's saying it about them? I can't remember exactly, but I remember reading it and falling in LOVE with that line and asking her if I could steal it. It's been my journal title ever since.


4. My friends page is called _______ because _______.

This one I LOVE. My friends page is called pretty girls punching clark's face because a LONG time ago brooklinegirl found a meme where you go to your interests on your userpage and you try and squish two of them together alphabetically to make funny phrases. Which is fun on it's own, right??

But then, slodwick posted a few of hers, one of which was the interest "pretty girls" and the one immediately following it was "punching clark's face" and oh, god, I LOVE THAT SO MUCH. I totally named my friends page that INSTANTLY and never changed it. Because, seriously, sometimes I really like to believe my friends list consists of a bunch of chicks beating the snot out of Clark Kent.

♥


5. My default userpic is:

THE ONE I AM POSTING WITH RIGHT NOW. JARED AND JENSEN MAKING KISSY SMOOCHY FACES. This is seriously my favorite picture of the J's EVER. I emailed it to keepaofthecheez as soon as it came out and had her make me this icon and I've never changed it out yet. THIS IS THE JARED AND JENSEN I LOVE, WORLD. RIGHT HERE. JUST LOOK AT THEM.

*explodey hearts*


My LJ name (you know how you can change that sort of sub-name thing?) is:

"at least I'm not into bandslash," because God help me, but I've still got SOME lines, ok???

*


YAY. In other news, I'm trying to convince myself not to order this shirt because really, NOT A NECCESSARY ITEM, but omg, I really kind of love it. Also, I have an interview on Monday afternoon for a job I REALLY REALLY WANT so, uhm, *crosses fingers.*

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand now I'm going to go read more schmoop.