So. Remember back when oxoniensis was doing the porn challenge? Well. I wrote a random JA/JP blowjob comment fic here and decided that one day I'd expand the beginning and then write the actual fucking that followed that scene and finish the whole thing up, and, well, today was that day, I guess *g*

Thanks to moosesal for the awesome beta. If you're looking for content you might want to look elsewhere. This is completely self-indulgent boyfucking.

Title - if I should fall behind
Pairing - JA/JP
Size - 3250 words
Rating - NC17






if I should fall behind



Jensen can hardly remember how he got here, is the thing.

He remembers being out at the bar. The lights were low and when he leaned his elbow on the rail his sleeve got soaked with something – beer or booze – he wasn’t quite sure which. The band had just started playing a truly awful rendition of Brickhouse and he and Jared were downing another round of shots.

By this point the tequila was sliding down Jen’s throat without a hitch or a bite. The burn had gone numb about four shots earlier and they had cut out the salt and lime well before that. Jen had dropped the glass on the sticky bar, licked the spilled liquor from the crease of his fingers, and looked up to find Jared watching him with an expression Jensen had never seen before.

He swallowed hard. “Jared, what–”

That’s pretty much the last thing Jensen remembers.

He has a vague recollection of Jared’s fingers, warm and tight around his wrist. Jared leading the way through the crowd of drunk people on the dance floor. Jensen was waylaid at one point by a pretty blonde who grabbed his other wrist and tried to drag him into her group of friends. They were smiling and dancing and he thought hey, this could be fun. He stopped to talk to them, but then Jared tugged his wrist again and Jensen was only able to wave to her as she was lost in the crowd.

Now they’re here, in the men’s room, the sound of the band muffled through the steel door. Jared threw the lock and Jensen thought Dude, what the fuck? or maybe he even said it, who knows.

The wall is hard against Jensen’s back and he blinks, trying to focus on the things around him. The cracked, white porcelain sink to his left. The gun-metal grey stall door in front of him. Jared looking at him steadily as he slides Jensen’s belt through the buckle and pops the button on his jeans. This is – this is something, who the hell knows what. Jared’s asking him a question with his eyes. His hand moves slowly, not really touching, just resting lightly against Jen’s skin, but his eyes and the way he’s breathing, slow and steady, are asking Jensen if it’s all right, if it’s okay.

Jensen swallows hard as the backs of Jared’s fingers brush across his belly. “Yeah,” he manages to say. “Do it.”

Then Jared’s hands are pressing him back against the wall. His touch is warm through Jen’s shirt; strong fingers curl around his shoulders, holding him in place. Jen shoves his pants down and lets his head fall back and hit against the plaster. He knows what he’s doing. He might be half-drunk, but this – this is Jared. Jared’s hands, his mouth, his knee pressed up between—

“Fuuuuck.” Jen’s voice echoes against the tiles on the floor and walls. His head is swimming, his heart thudding against his chest. He feels a wave of heat wash over him, his skin stretched too thin and tight, and he blinks, trying to concentrate, to focus.

Jared’s touch leaves Jen’s entire body aching. Big thumbs stroking the skin over his hip. Soft hair brushing against his neck. He makes a fist in Jared’s hair, twisting the silky strands between his fingers, and wonders how in the hell he wound up here. Now. Like this.

“You okay?” Jared asks, lifting his head and showing Jen the question in his eyes. All Jensen can do is breathe out, nod, and watch as Jared smiles – slow and wicked – before he goes to his knees.

He doesn’t wait even a second. Not a split second and then it’s Jared’s mouth – hot and wet and wrapped around him, easy as anything. Jensen can’t stop looking – can’t stop staring. His voice is wrecked. He breaks out Jared’s name and slaps his free hand against the wall at his back. The other one he threads into Jared’s hair, holding him there, as Jared’s hands and mouth--

It’s the hottest thing Jensen’s ever known, like nothing he ever imagined, and better than he ever could have dreamed. It’s Jared--his mouth slick and wide--holding Jensen’s hip with one hand, the other wrapped tightly around him, working him in short, quick strokes.

Jensen squeezes his eyes shut, then forces them open again. He never knew this – never expected it – but this—

“Goddamn, Jared,” he breathes. He runs his fingers over the top of Jared’s head, brushes the hair back from his face. Jared makes a sound in his throat and opens his eyes, looks up at him; Jen bucks his hips and chokes back a sob.

Jared slides a finger in his mouth alongside his cock. Jen can feel the hard knuckle press against him and he runs his hand down the side of Jared’s face. He cups Jared’s cheek, watches his dick slide over soft lips and strong tongue. Jensen digs his thumb into Jared’s jaw just as he pulls his finger out and trails it around and up and—

“Holy fuck.” Jensen can’t think. This is Jared and he’s – he’s pressing against him, pushing inside, and the only thought Jensen can focus on is fuckhimfuckhimfuckhim. He needs and he wants and Jensen doesn’t know a hell of a lot right now, but what he does know is that as soon as this is over he’s taking Jared home and fucking him as hard as he can over the back of his couch.

Now though, all Jensen can do is twist his fingers in Jared’s hair and hold on while Jared sucks his dick and fucks him at the same time. His mouth is hot and his thick finger presses inside him harder, deeper. The band is still playing on the other side of the door, and when Jensen got dressed tonight this was the very last thing he expected to have happen. But here he is--shaking and moaning and coming in Jared’s pretty, pretty mouth.

“Holy fucking hell,” Jensen groans after a minute. Jared pulls back and smiles. He tugs Jensen’s pants up and stands up with a grin.

“So.” Jared says, completely innocent. Like this just an average, normal night. As if he didn’t just have Jensen’s cock in his mouth. “You want to clean up and get another drink or something?”

Jensen fixes himself and smirks. “Hell no.” He grabs a handful of Jared’s hair and quietly says against his ear, “I want to go home and fuck you stupid.”

Jared breathes a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank Christ.” He grabs Jen’s wrist and pulls him toward the door. "Let's go."

*

Jensen has no idea how they got back to his house, but he’s not really in the mood for asking questions.

Jared had picked him up earlier to go out – that was half the reason Jen got so smacked to begin with – and while he has a brief recollection of grabbing his jacket from the bar and walking through the parking lot looking for Jared’s truck…

It doesn’t matter. They’re home now and Jensen really couldn’t give two shits on the mechanics of how they actually got here.

He sets the alarm and leaves the lights off. It’s so dark all Jen can see is the outline of Jared’s body and the bright flash of teeth as Jared smiles and takes a step closer.

“Jen, you want—”

He can’t wait anymore. Back at the bar, before when they were together it wasn’t – it wasn’t like this. It wasn’t quiet and private and them, and all Jen really wanted was to be able to touch Jared. To hear him and feel him and—

“Take this off,” Jensen says, yanking at Jared’s jacket. He feels rushed, frantic. His hands shake and his breath is coming in short bursts and he just can’t – he can’t stop himself. “I want to touch you... God.”

“Jen, Jesus.” Jared pulls his shirt over his head, yanks the button on his jeans. Jensen looks away only long enough to pull his own shirt off and kick his boots halfway across the room. He pops the button on his pants and shoves them down his hips, and never -- not once -- does he think twice about it.

It should feel weird or awkward. Jen knows this. It should be totally fucked up and he should be freaking out right now and wondering what and how and why. But holy fuck, Jared’s skin looks so soft and warm and all Jensen wants is to touch it – touch him. He wants to feel Jared’s body under his palms. To have the warmth of that hard chest pressed against his own.

Jensen just stares. Watches as Jared breathes steady and even. His eyes are dark; they fall shut when Jen walks over and touches his fingers to Jared’s throat.

“I didn’t—” Jen can feel the skin move under his hand as Jared talks. “I didn’t know you wanted this.”

Jen can’t help but laugh a little. “Neither did I.”

When Jared’s fingers wrap around his wrist, Jen looks up. “Look, Jen. We can stop,” Jared tells him seriously. “I’m not expecting anything and I’m not gonna be an asshole about it.”

Jen smiles slowly and steps closer. He drops his hands to Jared’s waist and tugs him forward. “Does it feel like I want to stop?” Jen asks quietly, his cock pressing into the side of Jared’s hip.

Jared kisses him hard on the mouth and they stumble to the couch. The cushions are soft under Jen’s back, but he doesn’t want soft or easy. He pushes up against Jared, feels the slip and slide of skin over hard muscle and shoves him so he’s pressed back into the cushions. Jared’s hair falls over his forehead and he blows it from his eyes.

“What do you want?” Jared asks. His hands are touching Jen, quick and light, all over--on his face, down his chest, over his hip, along his thigh. Jared’s fingers are long and thick and he wraps them around Jen’s cock and moves his hand slowly. “Jen, what—”

“Turn over,” Jen says in a voice like rough gravel. Jared’s hand freezes and he sucks in a breath. Jensen can see the way his forehead is all scrunched, his eyes squeezed shut. “Jared, what—”

“I almost just fucking came, that’s what.” Jen slides over and Jared turns to lie on his stomach. He runs his hand down the expanse of Jared’s back, traces the line of his spine. He can feel the bump of bone under his fingertips and kisses Jared’s shoulder. “Jen.” Jared’s voice is thick. “Are you gonna—”

“Do you have anything?” Jen leaves his hand just over the curve of Jared’s ass. He catches Jared’s eye as he twists his head on the cushions and sees him nod toward his jeans on the floor.

“In one of my pockets, yeah.”

Jensen doesn’t ask why Jared has anything with him. Doesn’t ask who Jared thought he’d need it for or with or why he brought it with him tonight at all. Doesn’t ask anything as he reaches for the jeans and digs through the pockets, keys and change and half a roll of candy falling out and hitting the floor before he finds a small tube of lube and a condom in Jared’s wallet.

Jen leans back up and brushes his fingers across Jared’s side. “Hey,” he says quietly. “You sure about this?”

“Yeah.” Jared swallows hard. Jen can see his throat moving, but then he says again, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

Jensen takes a deep breath and smoothes his hand over Jared’s back, but this time he’s not sure if he’s trying to calm Jared or himself. He pats Jared’s hip. “Lift up,” Jen says softly.

The couch is soft under Jen’s knees, but as he backs up and hits into the armrest he thinks that maybe the bedroom would actually better. Jared’s leaning against the other armrest as it is and Jen wonders if maybe he’s not comfortable. Maybe he should—

Jared moves again and Jensen freezes at the picture he makes. He watches the way the moonlight coming through the windows makes Jared’s skin almost glow. The way he’s just here – here, now, and he’s Jensen’s.

After a minute Jared twists his head around and blows his hair from his eyes. A bright smile spreads across his face. “You chickening out on me, Jen?”

Jensen clears his throat and lowers his eyes. “No, no. I’m just—” He gets some of the lube on his fingers and drops the tube on the couch. It’s slippery and he rubs it between his fingertips for a second before leaning over Jared’s back and running a hand down his hip and around. “Tell me if this is all right,” Jen says, his voice as low and even as he can make it. He drops his head against Jared’s back, kisses his shoulder, and gently presses against him with the tip of one finger.

“Holy fuck.” Jared’s body jerks like he’s been shot. Jensen shifts his hand away and closes his eyes. This was stupid. Too much, too fast, too—“Okay, okay. Wait a second. Just—”

“Jared, we don’t have to—”

“Will you shut the hell up, Jensen, and let me just—” Jared pushes up on his arms and shifts back an inch or so. It brings him up harder against Jensen, and he can feel the light sweat on Jared’s back against his chest. “All right. Try it again.”

The position brings Jen closer to Jared’s ear so he leans in, wraps his free arm around his waist and whispers, “Like this?” as he takes his finger and presses against him again.

This time Jared groans long and low in his throat and pushes back. Jensen’s finger slips in further. It’s tighter than he expected – hot and tight and just--

“God, god, Jensen. Fuck.” Jared’s voice is broken and rough. Jensen kisses the back of his neck, the side of his jaw. He presses in further as Jared leans back, then curls his finger the tiniest bit and—

Jared just about shoots off the couch. “Goddamn yeah. Holy fucking – do that again, Jensen. Just -- Christ. Gimme your—”

Jensen slides his finger back slowly, and just when Jared seems like he’s going to start complaining he slips two back in its place. Jared’s really moving against him now – shoving with his hips, twisting his head so Jen catches the corner of his mouth and jaw and eye as he tries to kiss him.

“Yeah, come on,” Jared breathes. “Do it. God, please.”

Jensen has to reach down and squeeze his dick to keep from coming just from that. Just from the words and the feel of Jared shaking and panting under him. He slides his fingers out and fumbles with the condom as Jared moves up to lean his head against the armrest. Jensen follows him when he’s done and lightly touches Jared’s back.

“Are you sure you—”

“Yeah. Come on, Jen.” Jared reaches an arm around and grabs Jen’s hip, pulling him closer. “Please. Christ. I—”

Jensen pushes against him and Jared grunts. “Is it—”

“Yeah.” Jared’s voice is thin and raspy. “Just – fuck.”

“Relax.” Jensen runs a hand down Jared’s side, rubbing lightly with his fingertips. “Relax, baby.”

“Okay, just—”

“Wait.” Jensen reaches around and takes Jared’s cock in his hand. He runs his thumb over the tip, strokes him slow and even. “That better?”

“God, yeah. Just—”

The cock in Jen’s hand gets harder. He pushes in a little more and kisses the back of Jared’s neck as he whimpers and moans.

“Is it okay?” Jen asks. “Jared, is it—”

“Oh god, yeah, it’s—” and that’s it. Jared shoves back and Jen slides in and his eyes nearly cross from how fucking good and tight and perfect it all is.

Jared’s cock jerks in his hand. Jensen buries his face against Jared’s shoulder and drags his teeth along the soft skin. He tastes salt and sweat and kisses Jared right there – right where the back of his neck and shoulder meet, then bites him gently.

“God, Jensen.” Jared’s close, Jen can tell. He can feel it in the way Jared’s body is shaky and quivering. Can tell by the slickness on his fingers, the way Jared’s breath keeps hitching and breaking. He tightens his fist and jacks him hard and fast and Jared is pushing back, hard, harder. Jensen is in deeper and it’s hotter and—

Jared’s whole body shakes when he comes. Jensen lifts his head and settles his hands on Jared’s hips, supporting him as his body goes loose and pliant.

“S’good,” Jared mumbles. Jen fucks him harder; Jared’s body sprawled across his cushions. Jared twists his head to the side and opens his eyes. “Kiss me,” he says, his voice sleepy and soft. “Jen, please—”

Jensen leans down and closes his eyes as he touches his lips to the corner of Jared’s mouth. Jared smiles against his lips, and that’s it. Jensen’s done.

They lay there for a few minutes after, trying to get their breath and bearings back. Jensen gets up first, sliding out and then jerking around with the condom. He stands awkwardly for a minute not really sure what to do with it, before tying the end and wadding it up in few pages he ripped out of the TV Guide.

“Hey. Maybe I was reading that.” Jared’s voice is light and teasing. Jen pushes his legs and sits on the edge of the couch.

“My house, my magazine,” Jen teases back.

Jared’s still watching him though, so Jen looks away. He honestly has no idea what Jared is thinking or expecting and he’s not sure what they should do. If they should talk about it or ignore it or—

“So, uh.” Jen clears his throat. “You wanna go to bed?”

Jared’s smile when it comes is as slow and bright as a sunrise. “Yeah,” he says, quietly. “Yeah I do.”

*

The next morning Jensen wakes up to the sound of the bathroom sink running and the smell of coffee. He throws an arm across his eyes and pretends he’s still sleeping when Jared walks in, already talking, five minutes later.

“So listen. Today we got a day off so I was thinking—”

Jensen jerks his arm away and glares. “Man, I could have been sleeping.”

“Uh huh.” Jared points a long finger in his direction. “But you weren’t.”

“But I could have been.”

Jared grins. His hair is messy and standing up in three different places and he’s wearing a pair of Jen’s sweat pants which are about a size too small on him. “Well how about we save the argument for a time when you really are sleeping,” Jared says with a smile. “Okay?”

Jensen grabs the waist of the sweatpants and tugs Jared back toward the bed. “How about you shut up and get back in bed?” he growls, but he can feel himself grinning.

Jared leans a knee on the edge of the mattress and bends down to brush his lips across Jen’s mouth. “Well all right,” he says, softly.

*

Jensen has no idea how they got here, is the thing. That’s all right though, because he doesn’t care much how they got here. He only cares that they did.


-end-