New RPS - Jared/Jensen - Sticks and Stones (complete - 1/3)

SO! Who wants 22,000 words of J2 hurt/comfort fic filled with sex and schmoop and Jensen playing with Jared's dogs!

erm - hopefully someone wants this *g*

Anyway, here it is! Totally unapologetic, self-indulgent, SCHMOOP. With a lot of sex. And boy touching. (I am very easy to please.)

All notes at the end of the fic.


Title - Sticks and Stones
Pairing - JA/JP
Rating - NC17
Word Count - 22,000






Sticks and Stones



Jensen was in his trailer running lines when he got the call.

"It's Eric," Jensen heard, and thank Christ Eric thought to say "Listen, Jared's fine," before he said "but there's been an accident," because all of a sudden Jensen couldn't hear much past the ringing in his ears.

Jensen picked up little pieces of Eric's side of the conversation. Car accident. Broken leg. But nothing was really sinking in. They were just words that were all jumbling together in Jensen's head, and all he could think was: Jacket. Where's my fucking jacket because I gotta--

"I'm leaving now," Jensen said when he found his jacket and keys. "Eric. I'm sorry but I have to--"

"Gimme two minutes," Eric interrupted. "I'll drive you."

*

Jared's body was too big for the tiny hospital bed. His skin was the same pasty grey color as the sheets. Jensen leaned back in his chair and rubbed a hand over his face. He wasn't even sure how long he'd been watching Jared sleep, but it had to be a few hours at least. Jensen cracked his neck to the side and yawned.

There was a TV hanging in the corner of the room, but Jensen didn't want to turn it on and wake Jared up. He was going to need a lot of sleep the doctor said. A lot of rest, a lot of time keeping his leg elevated. They wanted to keep him for a day or two to monitor anything going on in Jared's head.

(Eric tried joking around, telling the doctors that if they found anything going on in Jared's head to let them all know because most of the time it was empty. And at any other time Jensen would have laughed, joked around with him too, but for some reason, today, he didn't find it all that funny.)

So, in the hospital for two, three days at least. Eric told Jensen not to worry about anything. They’d just finished shooting before a short hiatus anyway, and he could fill in the last few scenes without either of them coming back for a while. In a few weeks when Jared was back on his feet they’d pick up again where they left off. Jensen had just nodded. Sure, he told him. That's fine.

After they knew Jared was going to be okay - a little banged up and bruised, but relatively okay - Eric left. He offered Jensen a ride back but--

"I'll just call for a car or something later on," Jensen told him.

Eric nodded. "Tell him I was here and then call me later," he said. Jensen waved him off and went to Jared's room to wait for him to wake up.

But that was hours ago, and Jensen was thinking now that maybe Jared was out for the night. They’d given him some pretty heavy pain pills from what the doctors were saying. Something for his leg and his head. Jensen should maybe just--

"Hey."

Jared's voice was so soft Jensen almost didn't hear him. He got up and stood next to the bed. Jared's eyes opened once, then slipped back closed.

"Hey, man. Don't try and talk, all right?" Jensen kept his voice pitched low. He could hear a cart with a squeaky wheel being pushed down the hall outside the room. Jared's fingers curled in a fist on the bed.

"What--" He looked like he was trying to open his eyes again, so Jensen stepped closer and covered Jared's hand with his.

Jared was always warm, always. It was one of the things Jensen teased him about. He could never understand how in the middle of a cold ass Vancouver night Jared could be shooting a scene and come away from it sweating.

Now though, his hand was cool under Jensen's palm. Jensen took a deep breath and curled his fingers around Jared's hand. "Listen to me." Jensen's voice was scratchy so he cleared his throat. "I said don't try and talk so shut the fuck up, all right?" Jared didn't say anything but the edges of his mouth twitched like he was trying to smile. "You had a car accident. Some dumb bitch ran a light but everything's fine. Your leg's broken and your truck's a fucking mess, but you'll be outta here in a day or so. Okay, man?"

So maybe it wasn't the most soothing thing Jensen could have said. He'd had a hell of a day.

Jared nodded a little though, and the next time he opened his eyes they stayed open. It was the first time since the whole thing happened that Jensen was able to recognize him. That he looked like Jared, and Jensen finally realized just how freaked out he'd actually been all day, staring at Jared just lying in the bed like that.

Jensen let out a deep breath. He squeezed Jared's hand and took a step back. "All right. I'm gonna go but I'll be back tomorrow. You want me to bring you anything?" He shrugged his jacket on. Patted his pockets until he found his cell phone and keys. He'd stop on the way home, pick up some magazines or something for Jared. Maybe some junk food if his doctors said it was all right.

"Jen." Jared was struggling, trying to sit up. "Jen, wait."

"Dude, what?" Jensen huffed and walked back to the side of the bed. The metal frame banged into his knees. "Man, you gotta relax. You're getting all worked up."

"The dogs," Jared finally got out. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Like just saying the words made him tired. "Jen. Can you--"

"Yeah, Jared. Listen." Jensen leaned closer and said quietly, "I'll go by your place and take care of the dogs, okay?"

Jared was breathing hard, his chest rattling. "Right. Okay."

"All right. But seriously." Jensen grabbed Jared's hand again but this time Jared flipped his hand over so their palms were touching. "Relax. Get some rest. I'll take care of the dogs and the house and everything and I'll be back tomorrow, okay? Just fucking sleep, dude."

Jared's hand squeezed his. "Yeah. All right. Thanks, man."

"Right." Jensen smiled and Jared weakly smiled back. "Now let me get the fuck out of here. I've been sitting here watching your ass sleep all day long."

Jared's eyes slipped closed again, but he was still smiling when he whispered, "Fuck you," before falling back asleep.

"Yeah. Whatever, dude," Jensen said quietly.

*

Jared rented a small house in the suburbs just outside the city where Jensen’s apartment was. At first, the studio had looked for the two of them to stay in the same building, but Jared needed a bigger place than Jensen did to store the truckloads of crap he always traveled with, along with having a place with a yard for the dogs.

It was full dark by the time Jensen got to Jared’s, a bag of Chinese takeout in one hand, and Jared’s keys in the other. He’d stopped home to change because his jeans and t-shirt from the morning stunk like hospital. Plus, Jensen didn’t think he was ever going to be able to wear them again without thinking that something awful was going to happen. Jensen was a realist but he had a nasty superstitious streak.

He jiggled the keys into the door and punched in Jared’s alarm code, then braced himself when he heard the dogs jump to their feet and start barreling down the hall.

“Hey, hey.” Harley jumped up on his hind legs and leaned against Jensen with his front paws. He pushed his wet nose against Jensen’s shirt, and slobbered so much Jensen had to reach over and drop his bag of food on the side table to try and wrangle the damn dog off him. “Harley - down.” Jensen tried to make his voice as stern as possible, but Harley just looked at him, leaned back and barked in his face.

“All right, get down.” Jensen managed to get Harley down on all four paws, then crouched next to him and scratched his head and the back of his ears. Harley whimpered happily, snuffling and pushing against Jensen’s hand, and Jensen laughed for what felt like the first time in days. “Hey, dude, where’s—“ Jensen twisted his head around to look for Sadie, and when he saw her, his voice got clogged in his throat.

“Come here, girl,” Jensen said quietly. Sadie was standing behind Harley staring at the front door, body held pin straight. She was waiting for Jared, and the sight of her standing there had Jensen feeling as miserable and beat down as he did watching Jared lying in that damn bed all day.

Jensen gave Harley’s head one last scratch, then walked over on his knees to Sadie. He tugged on her collar to get her to move. “Come on, baby. He’ll be home soon.” Sadie whined low in her throat, and Jensen scratched behind her ears, under her collar, letting her whimper and sniffle.

Jared and his damn dogs. They were all too goddamned attached to each other. Jensen tried to get them to move a few times, but when it seemed like they were happy to just pile around the door, he finally gave up and sat down with them, cross-legged on the floor.

*

By the time Jensen got the dogs up and moving back into the kitchen, his dinner had gone cold. He checked the dog’s bowls, filled them up with food and water, and emptied Jared’s trash, adding his wasted dinner to the bag before he tossed it outside.

Harley was eating like he was going to the chair, but Sadie just stood there, pushing at the bowl with her paw, and giving Jensen the saddest doggie eyes he’d ever seen. He didn’t know how Jared could stand it.

“Now listen.” Jensen hunched down on the floor and looked Sadie in the eye. If anyone had told Jensen a few years back that one night he’d be on his knees trying to convince Jared Padalecki’s dog to eat a bowl of Science Diet, he’d have told them they’d damn near lost their minds. And yet, here he was.

“I got one thing to do tonight, and it’s take care of you and Harley.” Sadie looked at Jensen and barked. He couldn’t believe this. He was talking to the damn dog. Jensen rubbed a hand over his face, told himself that it was fine, really, if no one actually saw him doing it, and said, “Right. So how ‘bout you eat something, and then Jared won’t kill me when he comes home.” Sadie growled. Jensen narrowed his eyes. “I will bring you the biggest steak bone you’ve ever seen tomorrow, if you eat this bowl of food right here tonight.”

Jensen was almost positive Sadie didn’t understand English, but the next time he pushed the bowl in front of her she lowered her head and ate something.

He stood up and ran a hand through his hair. Jensen wasn’t sure, but he thought that bribing Jared’s dogs to eat might be a new low, even for him.

*

The next morning, Jensen was three doors down from Jared’s room when he heard Jared’s voice, loud and clear.

“No, momma, really. You don’t have to—“ a pause and then, “I know. I know you worry. I was paying attention. The other car—“

Jensen rapped his knuckles lightly on the door and poked his head inside.

Jared was sitting up, which was good. He already looked a thousand times better than the last time Jensen had seen him, pale and sickly grey lying against dingy sheets. Today, his face had two spots of color high up on his cheekbones, and he waved Jensen in as he was leaning back against the pillow and closing his eyes.

“Yes, momma, I swear I’ll be fine. You don’t need to come up here. I promise.”

Jensen chuckled softly. There was a small, metal chair next to Jared’s bed that Jensen knew all too well. He spun the chair around and straddled it, then tossed a few magazines and a bag of red licorice whips on the bed.

Jared looked…not bad. Not great, but a hell of a lot better than Jensen had expected him to.

His entire left side was fucked up. He’d been going straight through an intersection when the girl that hit him ran a light and slammed into the driver side of Jared’s truck. His left arm was bruised, left leg broken, and there was a welt on Jared’s chin and cheek to match the stitched up cut over his left eye.

Today, someone had gotten him a headband and pushed all the hair off his face, showing the clear line of tiny stitches over his eyebrow. The scar would make him look tougher, Jensen would tell him. Like a streetfighter or something.

The thing was, Jensen had seen Jared with fake blood and gore all over him more times than he could count. They were actors, for god’s sake. But this time was different. This time it was Jared – not Sam, lying in the hospital bed – and Jensen’s chest clenched thinking of how badly he could have actually gotten hurt.

“I will,” Jared said, his eyes cutting over to Jensen. He smiled, rolling his hand in the air as his mother kept talking. “Listen, I gotta go, momma, Jensen’s here.” Another short pause, and then Jared was turning pink, and saying, “I’ll tell him. Right. Okay. I love you too.” He hung the phone up and clumsily shoved it onto the nightstand before falling back onto the pillows.

“Oh my god.” Jared started moaning and whining. Jensen was pretty sure it had nothing to do with any kind of physical pain. “Do you know how long it took me to convince her not to come up here? Holy shit.”

Jensen shook his head. “She’s just worried about you. Ass.” Jared laughed quietly, then winced as he tried to move and sit up more. “Hey, hang on,” Jensen said. Jared was struggling, trying to push himself up on one arm, his face turning red from exertion. Jensen practically growled and leaned over, tugging Jared up carefully and moving around the pillows behind him. “Dude, quit it.”

“Quit what?” Jared snapped, “Moving?”

“You were in an accident yesterday,” Jensen grunted. Great. Jared was making this impossible already. “Will you just sit still for a few minutes?”

Jared huffed. If Jensen didn’t think Jared would try and deck him he’d have cracked up laughing, because there was nothing funnier than Jared trying to use his pissed off face. He looked like a pouting twelve year old.

Jensen took one of the magazines he brought and tossed it on Jared’s lap. “Here. Some reading material. See how many times you can find your name in a teen rag.” Jared laughed quietly, but shifted around again, his face crunching in pain as he moved. Jensen reached out; he wanted to do something - something that would help Jared – but he didn’t have any idea what that would even be.

“Hey,” Jensen said quietly. “You all right?”

Jared licked his lips. Jensen could see the fine beads of sweat along his hairline. He was breathing rough and shallow from moving around even a little bit, and Jensen felt clunky and useless sitting next to him. He had no idea what to do.

Jensen reached out and touched Jared’s arm, fingers brushing against his skin lightly before pulling back. “Jared?”

“I’m good. Just a little achy and sore.” Which was a total lie. Jensen had eyes. He could see how much pain Jared was in. “I’ll be fine in a day or so.” Jared smiled tightly. “Doc said it could have been a lot worse.”

Jensen nodded. He’d heard that too. Eric called him earlier in the morning to tell Jensen that if he ever planned on eating anything again, not to go to the body shop where they towed Jared’s truck to. “That’s nothing you ever need to see, Jen,” Eric told him. Jensen wasn’t planning on testing that theory.

When Jensen reached out again to touch Jared’s arm, he left his hand there. Screw personal space. Jared was hurt. “That’s what they were saying yesterday,” Jensen told him. He shifted a little closer, the chair scraping against the hospital floor.

Jared turned his head where he was lying on the pillow and opened his eyes. “How’s stuff at my house?”

Jensen smiled. Jared was transparent as glass. “The dogs are fine,” he said, grinning more when Jared blushed a little. “Harley couldn’t care who was feeding him, as long as someone was filling his bowl.”

“Ungrateful mutt.” Jared’s voice was thick and slow. His eyes had slipped closed. Jensen allowed himself to ignore the part of his brain that was telling him to back up, back off. Jared was hurt, and Jensen felt like he earned this, for a little while, at least, and he let himself rub his thumb softly against Jared’s arm without pulling away.

Jared was warm and soft under Jensen’s hand, and Jensen was sorry. He’d make sure to keep his hands to himself after today was over, but everything was still so new, still so scary, that his self-imposed, Try and keep your hands to yourself no matter how friendly Jared seems rule was going to have to suck it.

“Sadie, though,” Jensen said quietly. Jared’s mouth curved in a smile. He seemed to be falling asleep, so Jensen lowered his voice and kept talking. “She’s one hell of a daddy’s girl, ain’t she?”

“Yeah.” Jared licked his lips. “She’s my girl.”

“She wouldn’t do anything, man. Wouldn’t leave the door, wouldn’t eat at first. Just stood there, waiting for you.”

Jensen could hear doctors being paged up and down the hallway. People were walking around, talking to each other outside Jared’s room, but between them, it was quiet, light shining in through the window blinds.

“You get her to eat something?” Jared mumbled.

Jensen smiled. Even half-passed out Jared was worried about the dogs. “Yeah, dude. I got it covered.” Jensen didn’t need to tell him that he had to bribe the damn dog to eat her dinner. He’d just stop at the pet store on the way home, buy the bone he promised her, and be done with it. No harm, no foul.

Jared opened his mouth to say something else, but before he got the chance he was snoring, loud and nasal in the small room. Jensen sat there while he slept, not saying anything. Just watching the slow rise and fall of Jared’s chest.

*

Jared would be released in the morning. Jensen hung around the hospital long enough to talk to Jared’s doctor (and thank god for Eric somehow listing Jensen as a contact for Jared on the paperwork or he would have had to kill someone to get some information) who told him that Jared would be uncomfortable for a while. He’d be in some pain, but he’d be able to go home in the morning, as long as he promised to stay off his leg and not overexert himself.

Since Jensen planned on enforcing every one of those rules, he thought that seemed to work out perfectly.

He left while Jared was still sleeping, and made a quick pit stop at the pet store to get bones for Sadie and Harley. Then it was back to Jared’s place for the rest of the afternoon.

When Jensen unlocked the door, Harley came bounding over like normal. Jensen crouched down and scratched his head, then gave him his bone which he slobbered over happily in the middle of the hallway. Jensen would have to remember to clean up the mess later. The last thing he needed was Jared coming home the next day and slipping in a puddle of dog spit.

Sadie didn’t even get off her doggie bed when Jensen walked in the house. Just lifted her head, saw who was standing there, and pushed her face back into the cushions and whimpered. Thank god Jared was coming home the next day. Any longer than that and Jensen was convinced he’d get to Jared’s to find a Dear John letter on the kitchen table, and Sadie’s bed empty.

“I brought you a bone,” Jensen said, thinking she might get even a little excited over a two-foot steak bone in the house, something Jensen knew Jared didn’t let them have. Instead she just lifted her head, barked at him once, then put it back down.

Jensen put the bone next to her on the cushion and scratched behind her ears. “All right. I get it. Poor substitute and all.” Sadie sneezed at him and Jensen tried not to take it personally. “He’ll be home tomorrow,” Jensen told her, “And after that, you won’t have to see my sorry ass anymore. Promise.”

*

He wound up spending the day at Jared’s, because even if Sadie wanted nothing to do with Jensen, Harley couldn’t get enough of him. He followed Jensen around the house, so close on his heels he nearly tripped and fell over him a few times. Jensen refilled the dogs’ food and water bowls, then let the both of them out into the yard to run around for a little while.

Jensen liked Jared’s house. It was small, but homey, with framed pictures of Jared’s family and friends all over the living room and den. The kitchen was tiny and cluttered, news clippings and receipts tacked up to the refrigerator with ugly magnets shaped like lizards and cowboy hats. The yard was a decent sized piece of property, with two matching dog houses and an entire crate filled with balls and Frisbees.

Jensen stepped out onto the stoop and took a deep breath. The afternoon was nearly over, and the sun was dipping down low in the sky. He let the dogs run and play with each other, and was just about to call them back into the house so he could head home for a little bit when his phone rang.

When Jensen saw the number on the display, he smiled.

“They letting you make phone calls now?” he teased.

Jared sounded even better than he had in the morning. “Yeah. It’s one of the perks of being a famous TV guy,” he joked.

Jensen sat down on Jared’s stoop and cradled the phone against his ear. The dogs were still running and jumping at each other, and as Jensen watched, Harley leaped at Sadie and made her run away, barking at the top of her lungs.

Jensen heard Jared suck in a breath and then ask, “Is that Sadie barking?”

Jensen felt weird. He knew that Jared asked him to take care of the dogs the night before, but maybe going back today was too much. Maybe he was pushing it, overstepping his boundaries. There wasn’t any way to explain to Jared that he had to go back today, because he’d bribed Sadie into eating her dinner the night before. That sounded close to insane.

“Listen, Jared--” Jensen started.

“Thank you,” Jared said, cutting him off. Jensen snapped his mouth shut. “Thanks so much for doing this for me, Jen,” Jared added. “You’re the best, man.”

Because Jared would think that. He’d never think Jensen was doing any of this for himself. That Jensen was there because he needed to be around Jared’s stuff and Jared’s dogs to keep from going crazy thinking of all the things that could have gone differently or wrong in the past two days. Because Jared was selfless, and one of his biggest flaws was thinking that everyone around him was a good-hearted as he was.

“No problem,” Jensen said, his voice ripped open and rough. The sun was starting to set, and he stood up and whistled for the dogs who came trotting over.

“So hey. Can you come get me tomorrow?” Jared asked. Jensen let the dogs in the house and locked up the kitchen door behind him. A pizza menu stared at him from Jared’s refrigerator, and his stomach rumbled when he realized he couldn’t remember the last time he ate. “I could call for a car but I kind of wanted—“

“I can pick you up,” Jensen said. It wasn’t like he’d be doing anything anyway, knowing Jared was on his way home. “What time are you being sprung?”

“As early as possible, man. If you can get here at seven in the fucking morning, I can leave.”

Jensen nodded. “I can do that.”

“Really?”

“Sure.” What the hell else was Jensen doing? “Seven is good?”

“Yeah.” Jared was quiet for a second, before he said, “Hey, Jensen?”

“Yeah?” Jared sounded like he was getting ready to ask something, or say something, and Jensen didn’t know what the hell could have Jared sounding so weirded out.

“Nothing, man. Forget it.”

Jensen leaned back against Jared’s kitchen counter and crossed his legs at the ankles. “Right. Come on. Spill.”

Jared laughed, easy and quiet. “It’s so stupid, but,” Jensen heard him take a deep breath, and than say in a rush, “Could you maybe stay at my place tonight? Do you mind? You could leave for the hospital from there tomorrow morning, but I really don’t want to leave the dogs by themselves two nights in a row.”

Jensen grinned so hard his face started to hurt. “Such a fucking pushover.”

“Fuck you, man,” Jared said, but Jensen could tell he was smiling. “I hate to ask, but you’re such a loser you probably don’t have plans tonight anyway—“

“Oh, that’s cold.” Jensen kicked off his shoes. He knew he was staying. He didn’t know why he was pretending he wasn’t. “I’ll do it, but only because you’re dogs are pitiful, man. With those big, mopey eyes…”

Jared laughed, clear and bright. “Thank you. Jesus, man, I owe you one.”

“Yeah.” Jensen pulled down the pizza menu and started to figure out what he was going to get for dinner. “And don’t think I’m not gonna collect. Bitch.”

*

Dinner was some pizza, half a six-pack, and three hours of Seventh Heaven reruns on TV. The dogs fell asleep in a pile at Jensen’s feet around ten o’clock, and Jensen rubbed a hand over his eyes and yawned before standing up and heading to bed.

He was shot. Two days of nothing but stress and emotional bullshit was enough to get anyone going, even someone who pretended to be completely low-key like himself. Jensen felt like he needed a vacation from what his life had turned into the past few days. He hoped that once Jared was home where Jensen could keep an eye on him, things would get back to normal.

Jared’s house had a master bedroom and a small guest room across the hall from it. Jensen pushed open the door to the guest room, and eyed the boring, small bed with its blue plaid comforter blandly. He’d spent more nights than he could count on that bed, too drunk or tired to get himself home for the night. Every time he stayed over he woke up the next day to the sound of Jared snoring just across the hall, or the TV playing morning cartoons from the living room while Jared napped on the couch with the dogs’ heads in his lap.

Tonight would be different. It was just him and the dogs; no Jared, no other person snoring.

He pushed open the door to Jared’s bedroom, telling himself that he was just going to go in and grab a pair of sweatpants to sleep in. He wasn’t snooping or being creepy. He just needed something other than the jeans and t-shirt he’d been wearing all day, and Jared had about fifteen pairs of clean sweatpants stacked up in a laundry pile from earlier in the week.

Even as he walked into the room, Jensen knew he was lying to himself.

He changed his clothes quickly, leaving his own stuff in a heap on the floor. Jared’s bed was still messed up and unmade from the day of the accident. Burgundy sheets and comforter pushed in a jumble to the bottom of the bed, and the pillows all mashed up against the headboard the way Jared liked to sleep. Jensen sat on the edge of the mattress, pulled off his socks, and stopped lying to himself that he was going to go sleep in the guest room. That he was leaving Jared’s bed any time soon.

Jensen had to stop lying to himself about a lot of things, actually. It was second nature, by this point. Him and Jared had been friends for so long that half the time Jensen barely remembered the truth himself anymore. He’d spent so long – so many months and days and weeks burying everything he really thought and felt – that even trying to let himself remember now, he almost couldn’t do it.

He turned his face into Jared’s pillow, smelled Jared in the thick cotton sheets. His sweat and shampoo and cologne trapped in the fabric, and in a split-second, Jensen was instantly, blindingly hard.

“Shit,” Jensen whispered, because he didn’t need this again. Not here, not now.

There wasn’t any stopping it, though. The minute he decided to lie down in Jared’s bed was the minute he gave up any pretense of this being something he was doing for someone who was just his friend, his co-worker, the guy he hung around with after work and on the weekends.

Jensen closed his eyes and knew that this was all because it was Jared. That everything Jensen ever did was because of him.

His hips shifted, and Jensen moaned softly, forcing his eyes open to look around, hoping that the reality of the situation would somehow squash the bone-deep want he felt staying in Jared’s house, in his clothes, his freaking bed. It didn’t work – not even a little bit – and Jensen was harder, needier, wanting more than he had in longer than he could remember.

He’d wanted Jared from the first minute he saw him, but Jensen knew what people said about him after the past few shows he’d been on, and he swore he wasn’t going to let that happen again. Plus, if the bullshit rumors about him and Jessica caused that much of a shitstorm, Jensen couldn’t imagine what rumors of him and Jared would do. Jensen liked guys all right, but not everyone in the greater Hollywood area needed to know that.

Plus, there was the fact of Jared being straight (or at least that’s what Jensen figured), taken (up until recently, and the one thing Jensen wanted to be less than an experimental fuck was a rebound fuck), as well as being a genuinely nice guy.

That was the part Jensen still couldn’t get over. For all of everyone else’s bullshit in the industry, Jared was actually a nice guy, and Jensen didn’t want to fuck with that, in any way at all.

So he said and did nothing. Kept his mouth shut and his hands to himself, and if every once in a while he found himself drunker than he should have been and thinking about things he wanted but couldn’t have, well, that was life. Jensen would just have to keep on dealing with it.

A night in Jared’s bed, though, was looking like it was a little too much, even for him.

So Jensen decided: fuck it – just for the night. He’d wanted this for so long, and in the end it wasn’t hurting anybody, right? Then tomorrow he could pretend that it never happened.

He rolled onto his back, and pushed Jared’s sweat pants down his hips. Jensen was sweating already, his heart racing triple time in his chest. Part of him felt guilty but the rest of him just wanted, and for the first time in forever, he let himself want.

He thought about Jared’s hands. About his smile and his wide mouth. The way he’d toss the hair out of his eyes, and reach across the front seat of the Impala when they were shooting, poking Jensen in the exact spot in his ribs that had Jensen barking out a laugh so loud they had to redo the whole take.

Jensen wanted Jared so much sometimes he thought he’d go blind with it. Wanted to feel Jared’s weight against him, pushing him down onto the bed, or against the couch cushions, or over the kitchen table. He wanted Jared’s mouth on him, slick and wet, his tongue wrapping around Jensen’s dick, letting him fuck Jared’s mouth, his hair silky and fine in Jensen’s hands.

He wanted to hear Jared saying his name the way Jensen would moan Jared’s; low and broken, laced with need and something deeper and darker than that. Jared hard against Jensen’s hip, fucking against him, his smile slow and easy against Jensen’s throat, and he’d say, “Yeah, Jensen, come on—“ and Jensen would claw at Jared’s back and come in his hand or on his belly or in Jared’s pretty, pretty mouth.

Jensen couldn’t stop thinking about it – how it would sound and feel and taste – and that night, when he came lying in Jared’s bed, with his pants kicked and twisted in the covers, he doesn’t let himself feel guilty at all.

Tomorrow everything would be back to normal. He’d pick Jared up. Be the best friend, the good guy, and forget all about the way he felt sometimes when Jared stood just a little too close to him for a little too long.

*

Jensen left for the hospital a little before seven. When he got there, Jared was sitting up in bed waiting for him. Jensen had a bag of Jared’s clothes in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. A big cup of coffee. He didn’t get as much sleep as he’d have liked the night before and he was shot. Sleeping in Jared’s bed apparently wasn’t one of Jensen’s better plans.

Jared eyed the bag and grinned. “More presents?”

“Clothes, ass.” Jensen tossed the bag on the bed, smiling when Jared poked inside. “Unless you wanted to go home in a hospital dress.”

Jared didn’t answer, just pulled out the flannel shirt Jensen had packed and flapped his arms around trying to put it on. He must have been sore as hell and could barely dress himself. Jensen watched for a minute – after all, he had to get his fun someplace – but when Jared’s cheeks started to flush pink the more he struggled, Jensen gave up. Christ, Jared was pitiful.

“Here. Lemme do it.” Jensen put his coffee on the side table and took the shirt from Jared’s hand. He held it out so Jared could slip his arms into the sleeve, then straightened the collar, the shirt hanging awkward over Jared’s tapings and bandages.

Jared blew the hair from his eyes. “Thanks, Jen,” he said quietly.

Jensen nodded and took a breath, ignoring the way being this close to Jared made his stomach flip. At work and during shooting they’d been up against each other more times than Jensen could count. Jared being messed up and sleepy looking from the accident shouldn’t make that much of a difference. It pissed Jensen off that it did.

Then Jared pulled the pair of sweat pants from the bag and grinned up at him, bright and huge. “You’re gonna help me get these on too, right? I got the oldest nurse in history, man,” he said with a shudder. Jensen smiled tightly and nodded. Sure, he’d help Jared change his pants. Jensen’s life had pretty much never been fair. Why would it start now?

*

“You’re driving like my grandma,” Jared huffed from the backseat. Jensen would have caught his eye in the rearview mirror and flipped him off, but if he did that he’d be taking his eyes off the road, something which he wasn’t planning on doing anytime soon with Jared in the car.

Jensen tapped his fingers against the steering wheel and came to a full stop at the sign on the corner. He checked both ways, inched forward, then checked both ways again because you could never be too careful. When a balled up paper bag from the backseat hit him on the back of the head, Jensen looked over his shoulder long enough to throw Jared a glare, then had to check both ways again before pulling forward.

“Dude.”

“So, Jared, did you call that nursing service yet?” Jensen ignored Jared’s huffing and complaining. It wasn’t like he could drive himself anywhere any time in the near future. He’d just have to deal with Jensen’s grandma driving or wobble around by broken foot if he didn’t like it.

Jensen heard Jared sigh and risked a glance at the rear view mirror. Jared has he head bowed, and all Jensen could see was the top of his messy hair. “Not yet.”

Jared mumbled something else which Jensen couldn’t hear over the radio. He turned it down and said, “What?”

“Nothing, I just—“ Jared looked up and blew the bangs from his eyes. “Can we talk about it when we get home?”

Jensen’s eyebrows hit his hairline, but he nodded and said nothing. He had no idea what Jared was fishing around for, but something told him that whatever it was, it was bound to make Jensen’s life even more difficult. Perfect.

*

Jared leaned on Jensen’s shoulder as Jensen fucked with the alarm code and the key in the lock. “I put the gate up in the living room before I left,” Jensen said, finally unlocking the door and pushing it open. The house smelled faintly of cleaning product and burnt coffee, both thanks to Jensen.

Jared looked at him like he’d gone insane. “Why?”

“Because of this,” Jensen said as he led Jared down the hall, letting him rest most of his weight on Jensen’s shoulder. When they turned the corner, Jensen heard Jared say, “Oh,” and he smiled.

Harley and Sadie took one look at Jared standing there, and promptly lost their shit. They were almost trampling each other in their excitement, barking and whining at the top of their lungs.

“I figured if I let them loose they’d knock you to the ground and break your other damn leg,” Jensen shouted. Jared was shuffling forward and bracing his hand on the gate as he bent over, rubbing Harley’s head and burying his face against Sadie’s neck. Jensen leaned back in the doorway and folded his arms across his chest. He felt like he was turning into a fucking girl, but watching Jared and his stupid dogs was one of the best things to happen to Jensen in the past three days.

When Jared stood up, he was smiling, one hand still buried in Sadie’s fur. “Good thinking,” he said. Jensen nodded and ignored the way Jared’s voice was a little too soft and thick. Hell, he’d been an emotional wreck himself with the damn mutts since he’d been staying at Jared’s. He figured Jared had earned a moment or two.

“So, all right.” Jensen walked over to the gate and flipped the locks, looking Harley in the eye and saying, “Be good when I let you out.” The dog seemed to almost nod – no shit – and when Jensen opened the gate they both managed to contain themselves, gently nudging Jared’s good leg and side. “A nurse, Jared. Gimme the number if you don’t feel like calling and I’ll call them for you.”

“Yeeeeah.” Jared gave Jensen a small smile before looking away. “That’s kind of the thing.”

“What?” Jensen had no idea what Jared was talking about. He’d been avoiding the whole home nursing issue since they left the hospital.

“Can we sit, man? My leg is kinda—“

“Yeah, sure. Sorry.” Jensen helped Jared over to the couch and tossed a pillow on the coffee table for Jared to rest his foot on. Jared looked tired already. Just a few hours of being up and moving, and there were puffy bags under his eyes and lines at the corner of his mouth. He leaned his head back into the cushions and let out a long, slow breath.

“You need anything?” Jensen asked. He felt like an idiot for not asking sooner. “One of your pills or a drink or—“

“’M’good.” Jared lightly punched Jensen’s leg, then left his hand there. Jensen could feel it like a brand against his thigh. “Jen—“

“Yeah?”

Jared turned his head so he was looking straight at Jensen and forced his eyes open. He blinked slowly, and Jensen had to practically sit on his hands to keep from reaching out and touching Jared’s forehead and cheek. He wanted to kiss Jared so badly his breath shook, and he looked away before he did something stupid that he’d regret for a hell of a long time.

“Nothing, just—Can you stay?” Jared’s eyes slipped closed, and before Jensen could answer he added, “For a few days, I mean. If you can’t that’s cool and I’ll call a nurse, but all she’s going to do is hang around and make me feel like an idiot. I figured, hell, you’ve already gotten me dressed today, right? How bad could a few more days be?”

Jensen swallowed hard. Jared was right, of course. A nurse wasn’t going to do anything except help Jared get showered and dressed every morning and make him feel like a clod. Jensen could do that and he wouldn’t even charge Jared a thousand bucks a day.

But on the other hand, staying with Jared – with Jared right there – god. That was more than Jensen had been expecting to deal with. It had been hard enough being in Jared’s house without him the past few days, but having to do it with Jared right there? Jensen was a gentleman, but he sure as hell wasn’t a saint. God knew how that was going to work out.

“Jen?” Jared was looking at him again, and Jensen shook his head. Like there was anything he would ever say no to Jared about. Who the hell was he kidding?

“Yeah, Jared. I can do that.” Jensen ignored the way he voice was so rough he barely recognized himself. Jared looked like he was nearly sleeping again already so Jensen was sure he didn’t notice, either.

Jared’s hand squeezed Jensen’s thigh, before slowly slipping away. Jensen blew out a long breath and rubbed a hand over his face as Jared started to snore. This was going to be a hell of a week.


LINK TO PART 2