real men make out with each other

this post has nothing to do with babies!

2008-08-07T03:17:58Z

HI EVERYONE. I'm sitting here on my couch, sweating my ass off because the noise from my air conditioner was giving me a headache so I turned it off, and have THINGS to say.

Things like

I am UNIMPRESSED.

no love,
me

I just - I'm sorry, I think Twitch and Joshua were BORING, and that freaking PARASOL number was just ridiculous. And a finale without Chelsie is just a travesty. *YAWNS* I guess I want Katee to win? But. I don't know. This is the first year EVER that I didn't even try to get tickets for the show when it coms to my area. Not only did the dancer for the most part bore me, but the dances *themselves* bored me. I think the season was SORELY lacking without having Shane Sparks, and Wade and a lot of Mia numbers, and even freaking Dan Karaty who usually hangs around a lot more.

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

I have tonight's PR on Tivo, but seriously, the summary alone made me make this face:

o.O

WEIRD, people. I have no idea.

Lastly, I'm trying to find a fic. I initially thought it was a J2 fic, but the more I think about it maybe it's Sam/Dean. And, uhm, one of them maybe has amnesia and thinks he's someone else? Maybe Sam? And Dean comes to visit him because he's staying at like, a church or something? And brings him books? Or something? Is this ringing a bell to anyone or have I just imagined it? eta - YAY!! you guys ROCK - thank you!!

(Ok, maybe that's not lastly. Maybe lastly is OH MY GOD, FANDOM, WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING NOW??? Seriously, every time I come back online and try to "catch up" I feel like I'm DRUNK or something. WOW. It's actually kind of impressive!)

Anyway, I think that's it for now. Tomorrow I have to be at my job at 12:30 pm and won't get home until about 1:30-2am. MADE OF AWESOME. In conclusion, I leave you with this:

Because, you know, HAIRCLIPS. HAVE YOU EVER?!?!?!

Exactly one year ago today I...

2008-07-24T01:02:46Z

Exactly one year ago last Friday, I left my job with two to three weeks to have to myself, at home, doing all the last minute things I never got around to doing while I was pregnant. I was going to update all of our addres books into the computer for the birth announcements (whenever they came). I was going to rearrange the bedroom to make room for the cradle for when the baby came home. I was going to fix up her drawers, install the carseat, sleep a little late for a few days. Walk around all big and pregnant in house dresses and mumus, enjoying being hugely pregnant for the last few weeks.

But Ava had other plans.

Exactly one year ago last Saturday night, my husband was working and I stayed home, sweating, and hanging all the pictures up in the baby's room. I made a random, panicked call to my parents at 10pm to ask what order I should hang the three dimensional stuffed flower pictures. I ate a cannoli flavored italian ice and I went to bed around 11pm.

Exactly one year ago yesterday morning I woke up, ate an egg sandwich, felt kind of crappy and went to the bathroom to realize I'd started staining. I called my doctor who - NATURALLY - was away on vacation. I was told by some doctor who I didnt know at all and had never met (but would becaome OH SO PERSONAL WITH PRETTY SOON) to go to the hospital to be checked out.

Exactly one year ago yesterday afternoon I was in the hospital, being told that the staining had stopped, that everything was normal, that I wasn't even really dilated and that I wasn't having contractions. "When you have them they'll start at the top of your stomach and move down. You'll totally know." Then I was sent home, after being told that they'd see me "in a few weeks."

Exactly one year ago 1am, I woke up with realy bad 'stomach cramps.' I couldnt fall back asleep. I walked around the house. I watched a marathon of Rock of Love on VH1. I woke my husband up for work. (He thankfully stayed home.) I waited until around 11am to call the doctor to let him know I still wasn't feeling a hundred percent, but was sure it wasn't contractions.

Exactly one year ago 11am I still had a stomach ache.

Exactly one year ago 11:30 am I sent my husband to the grocery store in a monsooning rainstorm to get me PRUNE JUICE to help my stomach.

Exactly one year ago, noon, I argued with the nurse at my doctors office who suggested I go to the hospital. I uttered the phrase "I just dont want to go there again and be sent home because it was nothing."

Exactly one year ago today at 1:30pm, I finally went to the freaking hospital. By the time I was checked in I was 5cm dilated. Because I'm PRETTY and didnt realized that HELLO. Those stomach cramps? Were LABOR PAINS DUH.

Exactly one year ago today at 3pm, I called my mother and told her she was going to be a grandmother soon.

Exactly one year ago 4pm I still insisted I was going to have the baby naturally.

Exactly one year ago at 7pm I was 7cm dilated and grabbing random orderlies and telling them to get me drugs NOW.

Exactly one year ago tonight I had no idea what having a baby was going to be like. I didn't realize how mind numbingly tired I would be at the beginning. How absolutely stupid you feel. How you think that everything you do is wrong, that you can't possibly do this, that something you do - anything - might be the Wrongest Thing In The Whole Wide World Oh My God and you're going to screw up your baby for life.

Exactly one year ago tonight I never knew how many times I'd go into another person's room just to watch them breathe while they sleep.

Exactly one year ago tonight I had no idea how much my life would change. How small, random things like running to the store would need a Plan now to get accomplished. How even though I didnt think it would ever happen, I'd lose touch with my friends. How I'd never be online. How I'd go for months without watching the SPN finale. How I just wouldn't care as much about any of it anymore, and while it would make me feel bad, as long as I could still feel that my daughter was happy I'd think I was doing a damn good job anyway.

Exactly one year ago tonight, I had no idea how amazing my daughter would be. How funny and smart and beautiful and amazing. How I would love her more that I could ever express on paper or in words. How I never knew what it was like to have someone be *this* important to you. How much it's possible to love someone in such a short amount of time.

Exactly one year ago tonight I had no idea that this little baby would be so much of her own person. How she'd have her own cute little voice. How she'd love bananas and hate peaches. How she'd have opinions, and a personality, and a head as thick as a freaking ROCK sometimes. How she can be so stubborn, and make me so frustrated, and then give me the biggest, goofiest smile and make my heart actually burst. How sometimes she can be so hard to deal with I swear I'll never have another one EVER, and how at other times she's so amazing and perfect I'd have a hundred more as long as they'd all be like Ava.

Exactly one year ago tonight I gave birth to this infant-

And today, I have this beautiful, amazing daughter-

Happy Birthday, my sweet girl. I love you more than anything ♥

New J2 fic - all good things - Jared/Jensen

2008-07-10T15:01:03Z

HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD I AM POSTING A FIC.

*freaks out a little tiny bit*

Uhm, so HI. Yeah. J2, post Jared/Sandy breakup fic, which I'm sure has been done a thousand times since the actual breakup, but, uhm, here's one more, I guess!

Ok, seriously, I always think talking about 'muses' and 'voices' is slightly lame, and I never really credit anything I do to any kind of outer writing 'force' or anything, but I swear to god, after over a YEAR since writing something fictional, I was sitting in my car yesterday while my kid took a nap, and I swear to GOD, in my head I heard Jared's voice say the first line to this fic, RIGHT IN MY EAR.

It was weird. And bizarre. And, I dont know. I HAVE NO IDEA, OK?? BUT I SAT DOWN LAST NIGHT AND WROTE IT. And it probably sucks and it's probably schmoopy, but BABY STEPS, guys. Maybe I can get back into this "writing" thing yet.

HUGE thanks to annalazarus for the awesome beta. You're fabulous, darlin! Also, no porn in this one yet. BABY STEPS, right? Maybe someone will get laid in the next one.

WHEEE.

Title - all good things
Pairing - Jared/Jensen
Rating - R
Spoilers - none
Word Count - ~2500

all good things

When it came right down to it, the thing about the breakup that Jared felt the worst about was that he didn’t really feel bad about it at all.

Ask him a few years ago how he’d have thought he’d react to not being with Sandy anymore, and he probably would have gone on about how Sandy was the most important person in his life. How, if for some reason they weren’t together, Jared wouldn’t feel complete, like a huge part of him was missing. How without Sandy, Jared probably wouldn’t know what to do, what to wear, where to go on his days and nights off.

That’s what Jared always thought it would be like if Sandy and he ever split up. In reality, all Jared feels is tired, maybe, and relieved a whole hell of a lot. And that, more than anything, is what makes him feel bad.

Jared sometimes wonders what kind of person that makes him. He doesn’t think too hard though, because he isn’t sure he wants to know the answer.

*

“So then I’m sitting there waiting in the truck, right? And all of a sudden this U-Haul backs up out of the driveway and nearly smacks right into me.” Jared finishes his story and laughs, the sound echoing back at him from the walls.

His house is quiet all the time now. Harley and Sadie are at his parents back home, and there’s nothing, no off-key singing or hair dryer in the bathroom, to distract him from the fact that he’s been watching the same loop of ESPN for four hours. Jared’s never felt so isolated in a place as big as Los Angeles until now. It’s kind of creepy, to be honest. Maybe that’s why he’s been calling Jensen so much.

On the other end of the phone, Jensen makes an impatient sound and then crunches something with his teeth. “And?”

Jared doesn’t know what he means. “And what?”

“And what’s the end of the story? You didn’t call me up to tell me that some dude almost hit your truck this morning, right?” Jensen crunches again - crunch, crunch - then swallows.

Jared is too distracted to think. “Are you eating candy? That sounds like Skittles.”

“Focus, Jared.” He can practically hear the smile in Jensen’s voice. “Did he hit your car or not?”

“Maybe it’s chips. Eat another one so I can tell for sure.”

“Jared.”

Jared leans back into his couch. He stretches his feet out and rests them on the coffee table, ignoring the Sandy shaped divot in the cushion next to his. “Come on, man. Just one more.”

Jensen huffs, but then there’s the sound of a bag crackling, followed by a very loud, very distinct chomp.

Jared smiles smugly and looks up at the ceiling. “I got it. Twisted honey wheat pretzel sticks. So, okay—”

“Dude, that’s just freaky,” Jensen says, cutting him off, and then he’s laughing, and Jared’s laughing. And if they finally finish talking and Jared hangs up without ever admitting that no, the guy never did hit his truck, and the reason he was calling Jensen was for no good reason at all, well, that’s not such a big deal anyway, now is it.

*

Sometimes Jared thinks it’s kind of sad that the breakup wasn’t a little more dramatic. A little more emotional. A little more like all the rumors that got started when the news first hit the internet.

Maybe he’d feel better if there had been some big secret, or something horrible for him to confess to. That he’d cheated on Sandy. Told lies about her. Sabotaged her career. Stole her Jimmy Choo’s and tossed her Prada bag out the car window and kicked her puppy all at the same time. Something substantial that he could look at and point to and think, That. That right there. That’s what did it. That’s what I did wrong.

Something other than the way it really happened. Something other than telling her, I’m sorry, and I love you, but I just can’t do this. Something other than the fact that however much he loved Sandy – and he did, or he used to, at least – it just wasn’t enough.

*

Jensen gets a few days off from filming, and Jared’s been done for weeks so Jensen comes to LA to visit. Jared picks him up at the airport, and when he first sees Jensen again - green army jacket buttoned up over his clothes, wrap around sunglasses hiding his eyes, a faded Redskins hat pulled down low on his forehead - something lodges itself deep in the center of Jared’s chest. For a second, he can’t breathe.

Jared shakes his head to snap himself out of it, then sticks two fingers in his mouth and whistles. Jensen looks up. He smiles when he hears the call, then changes direction sharply so he’s headed Jared’s way. Jared rocks back on his heels and waits.

When Jensen reaches him, he grabs Jared around the neck and yanks him down into a quick, one-armed hug. Jared slaps him on the back, and they slide and lock into place, the last two pieces of a puzzle.

“’S’good to see you.” Jensen cuffs Jared’s chin then pushes his sunglasses up his forehead.

Jared smiles for the first time since the last time Jensen was here. “You too.”

*

Maybe Sandy should have cried more. Yelled or screamed or called Jared names that would make his momma blush if she heard them.

Maybe she should have hit him. That might have worked. Something to make Jared feel bad. To make him think twice. To make him say, “Wait. You’re right. We can work this out.”

Anything other than her quiet resignation. The silent nod of her head after Jared was done talking. The systematic way she gathered up her things. How mechanical she was when she cleared her throat, agreed with him, then asked when would be the best time for her to come get the rest of her stuff when Jared wasn’t going to be around.

Because Jared thinks that might have worked. Maybe. It could have been worth a shot. But all she gave him was a sad smile, and a look in her eyes telling him that she knew the truth even if he didn’t realize it himself.

*

That night Jared takes Jensen to a local bar he’s found since the last time Jensen was around. Its a few blocks down and around the corner from most of the places Jared and Jensen have been to. The bartender nods distractedly when they grab seats, recognizing Jared from the few times he’s been in before but that’s it. He and Jensen aren’t regulars. No one knows them there, which is Jared’s only requirement for the night.

Well. That and getting fucking tanked.

Jensen sits back and lets Jared drink and talk and drink some more. Jensen’s wearing a Tony Romo jersey and the back of his neck and tips of his ears look bright red against the silky white of his shirt.

Jared thinks he’s probably drinking so much to give his hands something to do. Something other than reach out and touch the stubble on Jensen’s chin. He’s always wondered if Jensen’s stubble would feel sharp and prickly against his fingers, or smooth and—

“Dude.” Jensen’s snapping his fingers in from of Jared’s face and smiling. “You with me? You look like you’re tripping.”

Jared clears his throat. He puts his drink down and wipes the palms of his hands on his thighs. “’M’good. Just. You know.” Jared shrugs. Looks around.

Jensen’s eyes soften. He reaches out and pats Jared’s knee awkwardly, then tells him that Jared will be okay, he’ll get over Sandy eventually. And yeah, he knows it sucks-- after him and Danneel split up it took a little while, but soon Jensen was good as new.

“All right, man?” Jensen’s waiting for an answer, and Jared doesn’t know what to say.

He could tell Jensen that he completely misunderstood why Jared was so quiet just now. That he wasn’t thinking about Sandy at all. The he was thinking about Jensen, and how good it was to see him, and how much he didn’t realize he missed him until Jensen got here again.

He could tell Jensen about how Jared was just sitting here, wondering what Jensen’s stubble would feel and taste like against his hands and mouth. About how he didn’t even realize he was thinking these things – and Jesus Christ, how could he not have realized it – but now that Jensen was right here in front of him, it was all Jared could do to try and get the thoughts out of his head.

In the end though, Jared just nods, clears his throat and says, “Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”

He picks up his drink and takes a sip. Liquor burns the lie coating the back of his throat.

*

Jared saw Sandy once, after the breakup. He didn’t mean to; it’s not like he was stalking her or anything. It’s just that after so many years, he didn’t realize how many things they used to do together. And now it only made sense that they’d still use the same cleaners, the same grocery store, the same coffee shop. It was almost inevitable.

His hand was on the door of the deli where they always used to get breakfast when he saw a familiar ponytail, recognized the tilt of her head, and for a split second Jared honestly forgot what had happened.

He forgot that they weren’t together. That they weren’t speaking. That it barely took a week for him to get used to taking up the whole bed when he slept, as if no one had ever slept next to him at all. How the bathroom smelled only like his soap and shampoo now, and not Sandy’s at all. How there were no more weird fruits and vegetables – kiwis and avocados and shit like that – taking up space in his refrigerator anymore.

Jared forgot all of that, and had one hand up, his lips already curving into the familiar shape of her name when she looked up and it hit him, all at once, everything that had happened. She was sitting with one of her girlfriends that Jared never liked – Alyssa or Alicia or something – and when Sandy saw Jared she barely made a move, just shook her head slightly. A short but calculated, No.

Jared dropped his hand and buried it in his pocket. Two days later he found a new deli only a few blocks further from the one they’d always gone to. He figured it was just easier that way.

*

There are a lot of things Jared knows.

He knows he loves his job. He knows he misses his dogs and his family. He knows him and Sandy are better apart, and he knows that Jensen is his best friend, hands down, no questions asked. Sitting here in this bar tonight, watching the Angels game and splitting a bottle of Jack Daniels with nothing but comfortable silence between them, Jared is reminded of that last fact all over again.

Jensen’s like another brother to Jared. He’s his co-star. And Jared has no fucking idea when all of that changed – morphed into something more – but sitting here now, being so close to Jensen again after not seeing him for weeks, being able to lean over and touch him if Jared wanted, being close enough to smell the spice and lime of his cologne, is enough to make the truth startlingly, blindingly clear.

Jared’s in love with Jensen.

He can’t believe he’s been so stupid. That it took him this long to figure something out that now seems as clear as anything. Jared went from having no idea about how he really felt about Jensen (which is a lie, when he’s being honest with himself. It’s more like something he never let himself see. Something he probably always knew but buried down so deep that after a while even he was able to ignore it. Pretend it didn’t even exist.) Now that he lets himself think about it though, it sets itself deep in Jared’s chest, twisting and winding it’s way through his blood and every bone until it’s the only thing he can think about.

And Jared has no fucking idea what to do about it.

He wonders if Jensen knows. If Jared’s done something or said something to give himself away. After all, Sandy knew something was up. Why else would she have let go so easily? But just as quickly as the thought comes into Jared’s mind, it’s chased out by Jensen leaning in front of him to grab the bowl of pretzels, giving him a friendly nudge with his shoulder as he passes.

Jared looks over at him, convinced that everything he’s thinking is written plain and clear across his face.

Jensen raises an eyebrow and pops a pretzel into his mouth. “Dude. You gonna be sick or something?”

Jared blinks. “What?”

“You look weird. Like you’re going to puke or something.”

Jared looks away and clears his throat. “No, I’m…” I’m in love with you, Jared thinks. Is that okay?

But Jensen’s patting him in the back and shoving the bowl of pretzels in front of Jared’s face. “Here. Eat something and we’ll get out of here. Maybe hit the diner before we head home, all right?”

And Jared knows he’s not going to say anything. Not yet, at least.. Jensen’s his friend first and everything else will have to come later. Jared figures he’ll ride this one out, play his hand close to the chest, and take it nice and slow. He’s got the time. He’s not going anywhere, and Jared figures he can manage to keep Jensen close. After all, he’s been doing it for years without even realizing it.

He nods and stands up from his barstool. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

Jensen grins at him and nods, the corners of his eyes crinkling, and when he stands up he puts his arm on Jared’s for balance, his fingers tight and hot around Jared’s bicep.

And maybe Jensen squeezes just a little too hard. Maybe he holds onto to Jared just a little too long, the corner of his mouth twitching into a quick, knowing smile.

“You ready?” Jensen asks, voice low and smoky.

Jared’s not going to do anything about it – not yet – but his mind snaps a picture and tucks it away, and when he smiles and follows Jensen out of the bar, he thinks to himself, Maybe. Maybe soon.

-end-

EPIC FAIL

2008-07-08T23:19:29Z

World, for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, I have still NOT SEEN THE LAST TWO EPISODES OF SPN. I just. I can't even.

But, ok. My problem is this. (Other than the fact that I'm apparently made of L-A-M-E.) My Tivo, as I mentioned one other time, decided not to tape the episode, uhm, three back, I think. Long Distance Call or Caller, whatever it's called. And because I'm L-A-M-E, I haven't like, gotten it or downloaded it or whatever. So until I know what happened in that one I've been not watching the last two and just, you know, IT IS THE MIDDLE OF JULY, HELLO. I kind of miss Sam and Dean and want to catch up.

So, uhm, anyway, can someone come in the comments and give me an awesome, really detailed recap of LDC so I can watch the friggin finale tonight or tomorrow? I'd look it up on TWOP or something but I'm afriad I'll want to poke someone'e eye out.

Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. (Also, uhm, HI. HOW IS EVERYONE DOING. HOW IS LIFE ON THE INTERNET. I WOULDN'T KNOW. SIGH.)

♥

the rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

2008-06-05T00:03:02Z

Oh my god, I totally fail at working and being a mommy and internetting all at once. SIGH. Anyway, HI EVERYONE. Uhm, here's an update of sorts.

So, uh, WOW. I havent been online in forever it seems. And while yeah, the nearly cutting two of my fingers off definitely had a little to do with it (all ten fingers are still attached and accounted for at the moment) it's mostly just me and being busy and working and being tired and the weather being nice and being outside and being a mom all day that has *more* to do with it.

Because, I mean, I work four nights a week, which doesn't seem like TOO too much, until you think about how I work Monday night from 4 and dont get home until like, midnight the very earliest, sometimes as late as 2am, and then get up with the baby at like, 7. Then spend all day with her until R comes home from work, for me to go back to work Tues night, again at 4 until midnight or 2am. Then Wednesday I'm off, Thursday it's the same deal, 4 until whenever. Getting up early Friday and then no work but sometimes going out to eat or something on Friday night like humans. And then Saturday - OH SATURDAY - where I leave for work at 2 in the afternoon and dont get home until the EARLIEST 2am, sometimes later. Plus, R works till like, FIVE am on Sat nights, so Sunday - while a day off for us both - is a very VERY long aand tired ass day.

I mean, not that I'm complaining, really. I make enough money on Monday and Tuesday alone for myself for the week to do the food shopping and getting stuff for the baby and pay my bills, and then use my Thurs/Sat money to give to R for the house and bills and stuff. And seriously, I make enough on Sat nights alone that I come home with as much money in that one shift as I would make working three full days in an office for like, twelve bucks an hour, or whatever. Plus, I get to spen all day with my kid and literally only miss like, the two hours shes up every day after I leave for work before she goes to bed at 6:30.

So yeah. I mean, I hate to complain. I love my job, I love the restaurant I'm working at, I'm making serious money and now that I've been there a little bit I like, went out for drinks with everyone after work last Thursday night and I'm getting friendly with a few of the girls there which is nice. Sometimes it's hard having all of your close friends either in Boston or the city or wherever, and it's nice to maybe start hanging out and going out for a drink after work every once in a while like a real human does.

Also, man, I really LOVE being a mom. I just - I honestly can't even explain how much I love this baby. If I thought it was crazy when she was first born, the more she does and the bigger she gets it's just getting more and more amazing. She's so BIG now, it seems like, and she's got so many teeth and she eats like, EVERYTHING - cheese and pieces of cracker and cereals and fresh fruits and pancakes and waffles and little pieces of mushed up meat and everything we give her and it's just so awesome to go out with her now and stick her in the highchair and just have her be so AWESOME.

She's walking around in her playpen now, and trying to take steps by herself outside of it. She crawls like a SPEED DEMON, I swear, and she's saying all of these WORDS. Well, sounds, mostly, but there's the "chzzzzzzz" which is for cheese and "fssssssssh" for goldfish crackers, and everything - every animal ever - is a "dog. GIE." two totally seperate syllables just like that.

She blows raspberries at you and gets this HILARIOUS, scrunched up face and eyebrows when she does it. She waves when you say Hi or Bye to her. She clucks her tongue and makes these FACES and just - god. I can't even. She's so much FUN, and I swear, I look at her and she smiles and I feel myself tear up EVERY DAY I love her so much. I swear, I'm such a total spazz and geek and all, but I can't even believe it's possible to feel like this about anything.

Here! Have some pictures of our new favorite thing, playing in the grass!

Uhm, ok, enough gushing. We're also getting a new car tomorrow. My first brand new car EVER and it's a total mommy truck and I dont even care.

So that's happening. And we're going away to Jersey for a wedding for the weekend and leaving her with my mom so we can go out and have dinner and drinks like normal humans, and god, I can't believe how much better I feel about everything, lately. Starting working again got me so much more set money wise, and I'm so much happier doing something that's on my feet. I managed to lose all the rest of my post-baby weight after working only like, a month and a half - almost sixteen pounds and counting! - and now when I have days off I actually feel like I've earned them and I'm not just sitting around unemployed. I swear, I didnt really realize how much of a FUNK I was in until I got out of it and now I'm like, oh my god, THIS is what it's like to feel like a human again. HUH.

I just - I dont know. I'm really just so stupidly *happy* these days it's kind of ridiculous. And while I miss being online and fandom and all, I dont know. I mean, it's nobodys fault but my own, but man, the only shows I've been caught up on at all lately was American Idol (YAY DAVID COOK YAY I LOVE YOU YAY) and Top Chef (I love everyone except Lisa, am pissed Dale isnt in the finale, and will be SO HAPPY if Stephanie wins WHOO) and am watching SYTYCD. I just - guys, I still havent watched the last three episodes of SPN yet.

*hangs head*

And, man, I want to feel BAD about it, I do, but. I dont know. The last few times I managed to get online, I have to be honest, I was totally skimming over fandom posts because so many of them were pissy and negative and I'm just so tired of it. And I just - I dont know. It's summer and it's nice out and I have things to do with my kid outside in the grass and while yeah, I still like to think that somewhere out there Jared's banging Jensen in the back of a movie set trailer, I just - god - I just dont care about it all that much anymore.

*koff*

So, uhm, in that spirit, I'm REALLY sorry to anyone who has me friended for fannish things only, and really, anyone can feel free to defriend me at any time, but I honestly dont know when I'll be writing something of any substance again. I mean, I loved doing it too much to think I'll *never* do it again, but I'm also coming to terms with the fact that on the two nights off I get a week now, I'm probably going to do exciting things like dye my hair and go to bed by 9pm, and not sit around writing epic love stories about Jared and Jensen.

I know! I know! Ava is DUBIOUS:

and so are you! I get that! I just. I really do miss fandom, but I cant even tell you how hard it was for me to muster up the energy to even write this post tonight.

So, uhm, in that vain, I check my email a lot, like almost every day, if anyone even needs me or wants to grb me to say hello. And I'll still be posting and stuff and will try and have some SPN related thoughts again one day soon. But, uhm, if anyone's wondering where I am or anything, I'm here, just being happy and enjoying everything in my life as much as I can.

I hope you guys are all well, and I really do miss you all ♥

not dead but CLOSE!

2008-05-16T17:20:06Z

Guys, apparently I shouldnt be allowed in ANY KIND OF KITCHEN AREA EVER, EVEN FOR WORK PURPOSES, because at work the other night I literally nearly sliced off the tops of two of my fingers cutting lemons. So I had to leave and stuff and go get STICHES and just, HI. THIS IS MY LIFE. Working until 2am four nights a week, taking care of a ten month old, and now doing it all ONE HANDED.

uhm, anyway, HELLO. NOT DEAD, REALLY, but, uhm, also, apparently my Tivo fucked up a few weeks back and only taped ONE MINUTE of Long Distance Call, so I'm now BEHIND and HAVE NOT WATCHED THE SPN FINALE and just, I dont even recognize myself anymore! But, uhm, if someone could maybe point me to a way to get Long Distance Call so I can catch up and then see the damn FINALE, that'd be AWESOME.

I just. I dont even KNOW anymore. How are YOU all doing???

I can has monies!

2008-04-13T11:52:57Z

Guys, I GOT THAT JOB I WANTED.

*dances around*

I was looking for a waitressing job and had been striking out at all the places I was looking at because no one was hiring. BUT THEN, I decided on a whim to go to this AWESOME, expensive-ish, trendy, you need to wait FOUR WEEKS for a reservation on the weekend, uhm, FONDUE restaurant that opened by me a few months ago, and they called me back THE VERY DAY I dropped off my resume, then hired me on the spot during the interview last Monday.

YAY.

The only bad thing is that training for it is like, crazycakes, with me at orientation and then training all last week, and all this coming week, before I have to take a TEST on Friday before being allowed to be on the schedule.

But! But then I'll be working by NEXT WEEKEND YAY, which is fun and awesome and gets me out of the HOUSE and puts MONIES in my pocket, and all around it's just a very good thing. Plus, in all my "spare time" I've been making a SHITLOAD of jewelry, and will be starting an etsy site SOON, and we're also doing a street fair at the end of May, and just, things are looking up! Plus, me getting out of the house and leaving the baby with the Mr. and my sister and mom, etc, is making me a LOT less crazy in the face, so everything is like - BETTER than good. BEYOND good.

\o/

The only *bad* thing is that for at least the next week or so I'm going to be even more mia than usual. Between training, starting work, and trying to get my jewelry stock up and online, then ready for the fair, I'm just very flaily. Add to that, you know, taking care of a nine month old, and you can see where all my "spare time" goes.

Basicaly, the only show I'm caught up on is SPN. I'm two weeks behind on Top Chef AND Rock of Love, about five weeks behind on OTH, and havent watched SV since like, September. I've been trying to keep up to date with newsleter stuff with Mari, and will be posting a BIGBANG YAY update this week, while also making plans for Wincon, but man, other than that life is crazy! But good!

Uhm, I think that's kind of it, man. It's SPRING, you know? Time for flip flops and cleaning house, and with that goes me trying to banish all the winter crazies away. I'll be around in email, and online on and off for the next week or so, so tag me if you need anything!

YAY STUFF!

In conclusion:

YAY MOMMY CAN HAS MONIES \o/

♥

where I namecheck like crazy

2008-04-05T00:35:11Z

Apparently, a lot of my fannish names and such are STOLEN from other fangirls. WHOOPS.

But yes! Fun meme, because I don't feel like dragging out all my beading stuff tonight:

1. My username is _________ because _________:

estrella30. I picked the estrella part from a character in one of rhyo's fics that she was writing at the time I got my lj (when we were both still writing massively huge Stephanie Plum hetfics on Yahoo mailing lists, oh god) because she used to call me that and she was the person who actually gave me the code so I could get an lj. (HA HA, remember when you needed a CODE for lj??) I wanted just estrella but some jackass had it (probably still does) so I added the 30 which was my age at the time. (Oh god, I AM OLD.)

In other news, if I knew then that I'd be like, you know, MEETING PEOPLE from my lj, I might have picked something different. Maybe a little more normal. Though, seeing as how I got an lj to read and write Sentinel fic, I guess I'm just lucky my name isn't like, jimbabeforever, or something REALLY TRULY HORRIBLE.

Incidentally, the only person I know on lj that I've known longer than rhyo is tvm who I've known, uhm, god, for a VERY LONG TIME INDEED.

*hearts Ginger*

2. My name is _______ because _______.

Nancy! I was supposed to be Amy, but at the last minute my mom decided to name me after my grandmother, which I'm thrilled about ♥

3. My journal is titled _______ because _______.

"real men make out with each other."

BECAUSE THEY DO. But in addition to that, it's something, god, I hope I remember this right, it's a line from one of missbegonia's fics. I can't remember which one, but I could swear maybe it's Jared and Jensen talking about Tom Welling? And saying it about him? Or he's saying it about them? I can't remember exactly, but I remember reading it and falling in LOVE with that line and asking her if I could steal it. It's been my journal title ever since.

4. My friends page is called _______ because _______.

This one I LOVE. My friends page is called pretty girls punching clark's face because a LONG time ago brooklinegirl found a meme where you go to your interests on your userpage and you try and squish two of them together alphabetically to make funny phrases. Which is fun on it's own, right??

But then, slodwick posted a few of hers, one of which was the interest "pretty girls" and the one immediately following it was "punching clark's face" and oh, god, I LOVE THAT SO MUCH. I totally named my friends page that INSTANTLY and never changed it. Because, seriously, sometimes I really like to believe my friends list consists of a bunch of chicks beating the snot out of Clark Kent.

♥

5. My default userpic is:

THE ONE I AM POSTING WITH RIGHT NOW. JARED AND JENSEN MAKING KISSY SMOOCHY FACES. This is seriously my favorite picture of the J's EVER. I emailed it to keepaofthecheez as soon as it came out and had her make me this icon and I've never changed it out yet. THIS IS THE JARED AND JENSEN I LOVE, WORLD. RIGHT HERE. JUST LOOK AT THEM.

*explodey hearts*

My LJ name (you know how you can change that sort of sub-name thing?) is:

"at least I'm not into bandslash," because God help me, but I've still got SOME lines, ok???

*

YAY. In other news, I'm trying to convince myself not to order this shirt because really, NOT A NECCESSARY ITEM, but omg, I really kind of love it. Also, I have an interview on Monday afternoon for a job I REALLY REALLY WANT so, uhm, *crosses fingers.*

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand now I'm going to go read more schmoop.

A Very Terrifying Tale (told in three parts)

2008-04-04T12:29:37Z

PART I

Rain pounded against the roof and woke the young, attractive, AWESOME mother from her sleep. I can hear the baby fussing, she thought to herself, before rolling over and pretending to still be sleeping when her useless husband stirred.

"Are you going to go get her?" the young, awesome mother asked.

"msahkfdjsghfjhgdjfh," the idiot father replied, before rolling away and snoring so loud the blinds shook.

"Freaking idiot," the young, awesome mother muttered, before putting on her slippers and getting out of bed.

PART II

The young, AWESOME mother sat down on the couch with her ADORABLE baby, a bottle, and the remote. Let's put on Sportscenter and see who won the baseball games last night, the young, awesome mother thought to herself.

The baby thought: BOTTLE. WHERE IS MY BOTTLE.

Hmm, that's strange. The tv doesn't seem to be working, the young, awesome mother pondered. The screen is all grey and the channels aren't loading and OMG WHERE IS THE TIVO AND--

The baby flailed. BOTTLE OMG BOTTLE MOMMY WHERE IS IT I WANT MY BOTTLE.

The young, awesome mother gave the baby her bottle and proceeded to yell for her useless, still sleeping, lazyass husband to get UP AND FIX THE GODDAMN TV OMG.

PART III

The young, awesome mother explained the terrifying screen of NO TV OMG to her useless husband, while he poked around the remote and tried to reset the satellite.

"This is not Little House on the fucking Prairie," she proclaimed. "If I have to entertain an eight month old by myself, on a rainy day, without the Backyardigans to help me, THERE WILL BE A PROBLEM." What she was really thinking was "Oh god, if I have to go online and ask the internets how I get the last five episodes of One Tree Hill, Rock of Love and Gene Simmons FAMILY JEWELS downloaded, I will DIE OF SHAME."

The useless husband fixed the TV.

The baby finished her bottle.

Rock of Love is saved, and tragedy is averted.

The young, awesome mother put on a Backyardigans episode, stuck her baby in the excersaucer, and went and got more coffee.

THE END.

links please!

2008-04-03T00:33:23Z

HI EVERYONE. Man oh man, I totally FAIL at internetting these days, right? YIKES.

Uhm, anyway, for reasons that can't actually be explained at this juncture, I actually have the rest of the night FREE. To MYSELF, even, and want to read a long, REALLY SCHMOOPY J2 fic. I haven't read anything in about a hundred years, so if someone could please rec me and link me to something long and lovey dovey and schmoopy and porny and kissy and AWESOME about Jared and Jensen, that'd be FAB.

Also, I got emails from my last cryptic post about mini-doll clothes making and I'll be emailing you guys back soon - promise! But for now, I want SCHMOOP and I want it NOW.

*beams*

Uhm, please!

RANDOM AND WEIRD

2008-03-23T12:19:03Z

This is a very HYPOTHETICAL TYPE QUESTION, but is there anyone out there who can sew like, little tiny clothes. Like doll clothes only smaller. Like the size of Barbie doll clothes, even. Anyone?

If you can, PLEASE email me at tress30 @ gmail . com (no spaces) because I might want to like, commission you to make some stuff for me. I'll explain it all in the email, but again, if you're a good, fast, sewer (and what I'm looking for won't have to be perfect clothes, they'll basically have to be tiny and functional and that's it) please email me whenever you can.

*

Uhm, HI WORLD. I haven't been online since Wednesday. WHAT IS HAPPENING? Is there any new TV news? Anything fun going on? Have Jared and Jensen finally run off and eloped or anything? PLEASE FILL ME IN.

a riddle!

2008-03-20T00:46:51Z

Q: What's got two thumbs and a reservation for this years Wincon?

A: THIS CHICK.

People, it's CON TIME. In like, October, but whatever! It's coming SOON! And I'm going to be AWAY. For the WEEKEND. Without my husband AND my child. In a room ALL TO MYSELF with a HUGEASS BED and BOOZE and SPN and FANGIRLS and DRINKING and hi, hello, DID I MENTION THE BOOZE?? BECAUSE I WILL BE HAVING A LOT OF IT.

Uhm. I might be getting a little excited already, ok?

SO. WHO ELSE IS PLANNING ON GOING? HMM???

RANDOM.

2008-03-16T21:16:43Z

I have spent very many moments of my life, thinking that Ryan Reynolds and Dane Cook are the same person.

IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when I was flipping channels last night and came across a movie with BOTH of them in it at once.

o.O

(this post brought to you by lack of sleep! and also, ryan reynolds and dane cook BEING THE SAME PERSON OMG.)

not dead! uhm. I dont think.

2008-03-16T12:25:32Z

ACK.

Guys, I'm not dead, I swear it, but we've had a VERY BAD WEEK in this house, starting with the time change which has caused my little darling to be up until nearly 8:30 every night which is LATE for her, and then sleeping until about 7:30 every morning - which you would think would be good! - but after nearly eight months of starting my day between 6:30 and 7, that extra hour fucks me ALL up and I've beeen just crabby and rushed and OFF for like, an entire week now.

Add to that the fact that I can't seem to find a job, which is AWESOME, along with the four - count 'em - FOUR top teeth Ava is cutting ALL AT ONCE OMG WHY WOULD YOU GET TWO TEETH AT FOUR MONTHS OLD AND THEN NONE UNTIL YOU GET FOUR AT ONE TIME FOUR MONTHS LATER ARGH, and, well, needless to say I haven't been online much! HA HA HA.

*koff*

ANYWAY. This is just me saying that no, I'm not dead yet, and to please send booze. LOTS OF IT.

I'll be back soon.

make it work!

2008-03-06T12:30:37Z

I have thoughts on the PR finale:

Ok, I'll admit it: I'm glad Christian won.

NOT that I liked his stuff the best, because I didn't. I particularly loved a few of Jillian's sweaters (in particular the grey one with the cut outs in the middle and that black one with the gold trim), and some of Rami's dresses (the gold one with the antique lace and that green one with the weaving on it especially), but I think that a) Christian's stuff is the most "fashionable" in the sense that I would NEVER wear pretty much ANYTHING that appears on any runway. I dont think runway clothes are meant to be worn by the normal woman, so while again, I personally didn't LIKE Christian's stuff, I totally get why he won.

But more importantly, b) HE SLEEPS IN HIS HALLWAY, GUYS. If anyone really NEEDED to win, NEEDED money to start up their own line it's Christian and not Jillian with her hugeass loft overlooking the river, or stupid Rami with his stupid STUDIO and his stupid DRAPING.

(ugh. I really dont like Rami.)

So yeah, while I would have been ok with Jillian winning, I think her failure to ever make a decision anywhere EVER really kind of shone through in that her line had no cohesiveness to it at all. And Rami is just...I dont know. I DONT LIKE HIM, so I'm glad he didn't win.

So, in conclusion, YAY CHRISTIAN. Now go get a real bed.

And now, time to set the Tivo for Top Chef! And also probably that horrible dance show with the chick from Saved by the Bell. YAY.

Uhm, I'm also watching American Idol, but I dont really remember any of their names yet so I'll spare you all talk about that. FOR NOW. Though, I have to be honest, I like that David Hernandez dude a lot more now that I know he was a gay male stripper, or whatever. Also, Jason Castro is cute, the Australian dude is hot, I liked David Cook so much this week I finally remembered his name, and the guy that looks like he could be in Fall Out Boy WEIRDS ME OUT. I'm sorry, he just - WHY IS HE PRETTIER THAN ALL THE GIRLS? I don't get it.

Also, I think ALL the girls are boring. I kind of like Brooke White, but that's really it. They're tiring.

*koff*

*

Anyway, the point of this post is that I WANT TO RANT. I'm stealing this from annella and will be back later with rants if anyone wants, so come on! Gimme stuff to shout about in CAPSLOCK.

1. Comment with any subject that you would like me to rant on, with possible swearing involved. Any subject - I don't even have to agree with it.

2. Watch my journal for your rant.

3. Post this in your own journal, so that you may rant for others. The end.

COME ON, GUYS. You KNOW you want to see me rant about like, bandom and SGA and people who STOP DEAD IN FRONT OF ME IN THE FOOD STORE WITH THEIR SHOPPING CART AND BLOCK THE AISLE JESUS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET OUT OF MY FREAKING WAY UGH.

ahem.

eta - DONT MAKE ME RANT ABOUT THINGS I LOVE, like Jensen's ass or something, because that's just MEAN. (I mean, unless you want me to rant about how AWESOME his ass is, because THAT, I can do.)

Y HULLO THAR

2008-03-06T02:28:36Z

Man, I honestly can't think of anything I'd like to participate in LESS than a brutal honestly meme.

I just. Having no TV except for SGA to watch on repeat for the rest of my life? Being forced to have lunch with Don McKellar? Nothing but Celine Dion songs on my radio until the day I die? I have no IDEA what would be worse, because that meme is kind of up there on the list.

(Though if I did it it might be kind of funny, all filled with things like: OMG, MORE PICTURES OF YOUR KID, NAN?? REALLY? or, HEY, DIDNT YOU USED TO WRITE PORN ABOUT TWO GUYS FROM TEXAS OR SOMETHING? or maybe, I'M GLAD YOU'RE GONE YOUR PORN SUCKED ANYWAY AND I HATE YOUR STUPID CAPSLOCK AND EXCLAMATION POINTS, circa the hate meme of whatever, 2005 or whenever it was.)

But, you know, for those of you having fun...I don't know, getting your tits whipped in public or whatever, have fun! Enjoy yourself! Good times all around!

In other news...there is no other news, people. I've been at a wake for like, the past hundred years, it feels like, and finally have a night free and should be writing or making jewelry or something even remotely productive, but instead I'm sitting here trying to WILL TIME TO MOVE FASTER until it's the PR finale at 10.

So, you know, come talk to me! I have new kid pictures, even!

These are about a week or so old, but look! Sitting up all by myself like a big girl, momma!

and here, looking up at who else - her DADDY. That's why she's got the big MOONEY eyes going on *g*

ok! come talk to me for...the next thirty four minutes!

running in quick to say--

2008-03-04T12:47:11Z

YAY SEASON FOUR WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Also, YAY MORE SV!! And YAY more OTH!!

Also, if someone could make me PLEASE stop reading EVERY SINGLE FREAKING SPN spoiler I come across, that'd be AWESOME, thanks.

*smacks self on the head*

uhm. ok. Going again, but I'll be back after tomorrow, I think, and then will *hopefully* have my abouttwoboys fic posted sometime this weekend. YAY!

blah.

2008-03-02T13:30:24Z

Just a quick note, I probably won't be around much until the end of the week, if at all this week. A friend of ours passed away early Friday morning, so we've kind of been moping since then and then today and tomorrow is the wake, Tuesday is the funeral, etc, and I'm just kind of bleh and not online much. (Tracey, if you see this I'm still good for you guys on Friday; I'll be around pretty much after Tuesday night but if you try and get me before then I might not see it.)

Anyway, I'll be back guys. Be good to each other. *hugs*

oh, boo

2008-02-25T19:29:29Z

This is such a stupid STUPID thing to be this mushy about, but guys, I just had to take apart a baby thing of Ava's because she's too big for it for the very first time, and I'm all WAAAAAAAAAAAAH about it. I mean, I always get kind of sad when she gets too big for some of her clothes because it makes me realize how big she's getting, but usually the weather is changing anyway so I can chalk the clothes thing up to that.

But this is her BOUNCY SEAT, man. Her vibrating Rainforest bouncy seat that she used to love and fall asleep in and hang out in all the time, and she just - we never ever use it and she's sitting up so well on her own that whenever we try and put her in it she just wont lie down and relax; she spends the entire time pushed up on her elbows trying to climb out of it. (Which is sort of HILARIOUS to watch, to be honest, but I digress.) And if we had like, a lot more room I'd just leave it out anyway, but we don't and it's kind of just taking up space so, SIGH. Away it goes.

And man, I know I complain a lot, but I feel like I was just pregnant, you know? And now my BABY is too BIG for one of her main THINGS and just. Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, world. Not on.

because I am LAME

2008-02-22T15:46:34Z

I have a request - no, actually, a desperate NEED - after watching last nights SPN. Like, seriously, I dont think I can SURVIVE if I can't somehow get this.

I need someone to somehow clip and upload EVERY SINGLE TIME A WINCHESTER SAYS A SENTENCE WITH THE NAME NANCY IN IT. AND NO, I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING. Like when Dean says "How you holding up, Nancy?"I NEED THAT PLEASE.

Seriously, I am seriously JUST THAT LAME and like, want to play the clips OVER AND OVER AGAIN and upload them to my PHONE and everything.

So, uhm, yes! If anyone can maybe do that for me I'd be SUPER GRATEFUL.

*beams*

In other news, I REALLY LOVED THAT EPISODE A WHOLE LOT. And while I thought that tattoo bearing was, I dont know, somehow semi anti-climatic? Like, I wanted MORE about it or something, I think? I still cant even get PAST the MATCHING EVIL WARDING OFF TATTOOS OMG!!11!! squee long enough to fret about it.

The only thing I'm really super sad about is losing Hendrickson, because if I loved him before this ep, I REALLY loved him after. The very mere *thought* of him like, leaving the FBI to become a demon hunter with Sam and Dean to really do something with his life like he was hinting to when him and Dean were BODNING SO HARD OMG, makes me so fantastically thrilled, so I was extra sad to see him go.

I also loved Bela's "I miss our witty banter" line, and thought Ruby kicked ass, and just, I dont know, man. I really loved it.

(ALSO, HI, DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THEY SAY THE NAME NANCY A FEW TIMES???? LIKE, AS IN I HAVE THE SAME NAME AND PRETENDED THEY WERE TALKING TO ME THROUGH THE ENTIRE HOUR AND I DONT CARE HOW LAME THAT IS, NANCY??? BECAUSE THEY DID. IN CASE YOU MISSED IT.

I'M JUST SAYING.)

*koff*

Whatever, man. I am EASILY PLEASED.

*spins and twirls*

OYE.

2008-02-19T13:02:45Z

omg, you guys. I keep thinking "oh, this is just so temporary, me being offline ALL THE DAMN TIME! Once Ava gets bigger I'll be around MUCH more!" And then she gets bigger and bigger and, uhm, I'm around even LESS. sigh.

But yes! First, thank you all for the wonderful things sent to me in Madelyn's Valentines Day game! *hugs* And thank you again, Mads, for running the whole shebang ♥

Second, so I live in a house with my child, my husband, and now my sister. Which is fine and dandy. HOWEVER, neither of them realize the IMPORTANCE of my open intgernet tabs, and I get to hear - no less than once a day! - "Uh, whoops. I think I closed Nan's tabs again or something." >.< So then I stomp and pout and curse and kind of NEVER get to catch up reading or commenting or anything. MY LIFE IS VERY HARD, YO.

Also, so I was online Thursday morning, and then didnt get to check the computer again until like, Sunday, I think, and when I DID I was all o.O over the SPN talk because, well, uhm, I kind of hated it.

/o\

I KNOW! I'm sorry! I just - I thought it was overdramatic and SAD and awful and while there were funny moments ("Sam Winchester cries during sex!" the whole Asia thing! Pig in a poke!) and while I did like that it was the trickster who was behind it all, I just. I dont know. I didnt like it, is all.

eta - ok, the more I think about it, I think I kind of hated bow *bleak* it felt. I just. I know our show isn't the most uplifting, happy go lucky show out there, but, I dont know. I hated the way Sam looked like he felt so *helpless* or something. And maybe I'm just a sap and not getting it, and maybe, when the season ends and he finds some magical way to save Dean or something I'll look back and appreciate this one more; the feeling of helplessness he had and how he eventually overcame it.

But. I dont know. Until then, at this time, to me it was just sad and no amount of Asia lip-synching or brotherly hugs will help it. I didnt hate it while it was on until the end, after the Wednesday happened, to tell the truth, but after that and until the closing credits I kind of felt like I never wanted to see this episode again.

If that makes sense.

So anyway, then I come online and see nothing but SQUEE and FLAIL about it and was like, uhm, ooooooooook... and, I dont know. Maybe I need to get more in a fannish mind or something. *shrugs*

Also, in slightly fannish news, can I even EXPLAIN how pissed I am about Project Runway spoilers? Seriously, y'all, I KNOW Fashion Week was a few weeks ago, and I *knew* pictures and stuff would pop up online, which I was fully prepared to deal with. HOWEVER, getting smacked in the face with a full two page spread complete with PICTURES in my local freaking Sunday newspaper the weekend after Fashion Week was, well, REALLY FREAKING ANNOYING to say the least. grrr.

Uhm, ok! Anyway, thank you again for all the V-Day wishes, guys. And I'm trying to be around more, I swear. Tonight we're going to see the Foo Fighters so I'll be around tomorrow, most likely hungover and crabby. YAY!

for valentines day, I'd like a Winchester, please!

2008-02-14T14:01:47Z

YAY!! Happy Hearts Day everyone!

*kisses fandom*

♥

is this a spoiler?

2008-02-08T18:16:09Z

I LOVE MY SHOW SO MUCH THAT I WANT TO HAVE A LOT OF SEX WITH IT. THE END.

*twirls*

I'm sorry, and maybe I'm twelve, but my favorite part of the whole episode? IS WHEN SAM CAN'T GET UP FROM THE TABLE AFTER HIS SEX DREAM. heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! oh, god, I love you boys SO MUCH ♥ (also, Sam's little "Bye Bela. It was nice...seeing you" was so LAME and DORKY and PERFECT I can't even.)

Speaking of Bela, this was maybe the one episode where I got and appreciated and liked why she was there/what her purpose was. They called HER to come help, and she did, but not to be nice; to STEAL THE COLT. Very well played.

Did anyone else think that Jeffrey looked like a shorter, more beat looking Tom Welling?

The whole episode was fabulous; I'm not going to repeat all the squee I'm sure everyone else had, but man, when our show is on, it's ON, isn't it?

*HEARTS*

Finally, my two questions:

In the THEN clip before the episode started, there's a scene of Sam talking to Bobby and Bobby saying "you're not going to find how to save him by reading some book" or something to that affect. Does anyone remember what episode that was in?

Also, the very last line Dean says in the car in last night's ep - after Sam is like "ok, we'll find a way to save you" - is totally mumbled and I can't understand it. It's something like "mumblemumble good." or something. Does anyone know what he's saying?

uhm, also, I have VERY MANY Smallville and One Tree Hill episodes to catch up on. I will try and get to that this weekend.

in conclusion: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

spn_live is a go!

2008-02-07T20:01:56Z

Hey all! Just a quick heads up that spn_live - which had been acting wonky the past few episodes - is up and fixed and running right in time for the new episode TONIGHT \o/

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!

So head on down at 9pm est to chat and squee with your fellow fangirl and boy!

/public service announcement *g*

because I'm dirty

2008-02-04T13:51:54Z

Is it just ME, or does anyone else think that those "I'm not gonna put you in my five, dude" Charles Barkley/Dwayne Wade commercials are the slashiest thing EVER. Seriously, y'all. Every time I see one I'm kind of like this:

o.O

No? Just me? Allllllllllllllllrighty, then.

Anyway, Congrats to all the Giants fans out there! Even being from NY I'm not particularly a fan of either of the NY football teams, but I'm even more of an anti-Pats fan (uh, sorry to all the Pats fans who I LOVE on my flist! It's not you, it's them!) and really, watching from a football game perspective, that was a HELL of a game. That play in the end of the fourth quarter when they were trying to sack Eli and they were yanking at his shirt and he somehow managed to pull out of it, make a pass, and have Tyree catch the ball ON HIS HELMET was possibly the most amazing thing I've seen in a game in a very long time.

(Also, and this is me being very basic and simple, but I've said all season re: the Pats being undefeated: "WHY is no team making their game play sound like this - Hey, you. Your job? Is to KILL TOM BRADY. - Because in a really very basic way, THAT was what needed to happen. And then here comes the Giants defense last night and it was really just amazingly played, imo.)

So, yes - congrats Giants fans!!

Today I'm going to take pictures of all the jewelry I've made and post them. And then I'm going to go food shopping. Also, I want to play in the feedbackmeme which looks like FUN, but I promised myself that I wouldn't put my own name in there until I got a chance to leave some nice fb for other people on there because then I feel greedy. So if I get to that I will let you know!

HI WORLD. IT'S MONDAY. COME TELL ME SLASHY THINGS ABOUT BASKETBALL PLAYERS.

*koff*